Thursday, November 29

Eww Ick

This is a video link to a couple of Guiness World Record Holders. You dont need to watch the whole thing but if you take a quick look one record holder is a woman with the tiniest waist, which just looks incredibly uncomfortable and makes me wonder how organs are still able to function.
The other is the persons with the longest nails, which is absolutely disgusting. Apparantly she was really hurt when Guiness listed her under the grossest world records. She is pretty scary looking.

Introducing the TwoDaLoo!

The TwoDaLoo is a toliet that two people can use at the same time while facing each other. According to the description it saves rocky marriages and the planet.

The TwoDaLoo is billed as the world's first toilet two people can use ... at the exact same time. It brings couples closer together and conserves our water supply all with one flush. The TwoDaLoo features two side-by-side toilet seats with a modest privacy wall in between. An upgraded version includes a seven inch LCD television and iPod docking station.

Because what marriage wouldn't stabilize by watching each other take a crap. Awww, now I remember why I married you honey, you can really drop a duece.

Incompetent Me

My dad can be so unfuckingreasonable! Monday he tells me that he has a meeting on Thursday morning and needs copies of the job logs. He has always been in the office before he goes to the meetings and I have always made his copies the day of. So he isnt here when I get here at 7 AM and he calls at about 7:45 and says "you didnt get me my copies of the job logs" and I go "you are not going to be in the office this morning? I usually make them for you right before you leave and you told me you needed them Thursday" and he goes "I gave you plenty of advanced warning on this they should have been ready". Ok well I didnt know that you would be gone by the time I got here in the morning, I didnt forget I was just going to do it then (mainly this is because he always looses shit!) and of course he continues to blame me, "I told you I needed them for a meeting Thursday morning" Again not at all addressing what I said and he acts like I am completely incompetent. So I tell him if you needed them before I came to work why didnt you tell me you needed them by Wednesday afternoon and again he doesnt address what I said but repeats that he gave me plenty of notice. He also makes the statement that he always leaves that early for his meeting which is completely untrue, he has never left that early because I have never made him copies of his logs the day before because they are continually updated. So does he make his own copies, no, apparantly he is unable to do that so I have to fax it to him. Is there a problem, no but he makes me feel like I am a big fucking screw up.

Wednesday, November 28

Thinking of having brain surgery?

Don't go to the Rhode Island if you do. A hospital there has performed brain surgery on the wrong side of the brain THREE times this year. Two patients were "ok" after the goof up and one died. The hospital was fined $50,000 and reprimanded by the state Department of Health. They are now "re-evaluating their policies".
Just how hard is it to operate on the correct side of the brain? I mean it's not brain surgery err rocket science or anything. Your biggest problem should be knowing what to do once you are inside the brain, not knowing which side to operate on, thats the easy part! After the first wrong side operartion you would think they would be extra careful. Use a sharpee and write "Operate here" on the correct side and "Not here" on the other side if you can't keep it straight. Shesh.

Tuesday, November 27

Just Your Average Work Complaint Post

Today I got to drive to Porterville College. I don't mind getting away from the office, in fact I quite enjoy the reprive, but Porterville is an awfully long way to go for a 10 minute meeting. But I went and talked about eye safety and the proper lifting technique to prevent injury while on the job to 5 incredibly bored workers, at least 1 of which didn't even speak english. It is however an OSHA requirement so it has to be done.

That burned up most of morning and when I got back to the office everyone seemed to be in a grumpy mood. Someone decided yesterday to open all the doors in the office which let in about 50 flies that have apprantly survived the night and are letharically floating around the office harassing us all today. One even landed on my eyeball which was much more disturbing than I ever expected.

Then there is the email situation. Since I work with dinosaurs, the men in the office don't email themselves but have my mom and I email for them. My mom works Tuesdays, Wednesdays and Thursdays so if she isnt here I have to take over her duties one of which is email. We use an outlook type program so you can only access the guys emails on my moms computer. This has been the case for over a year, yet they still can't grasp the concept that I can't email anything from their accounts on my computer or check their email without going to my moms "machine" (thats what they call it, I am serious). The other problem is the scanner is only hooked up to my moms computer and they always give me things to scan when my mom is here, which is clearly something she needs to do if she is here because she is sitting at that computer and if I were to do it I would have to get up, ask her to stop whatever she is doing and move to scan or email, which makes no sense. I explain this all to them at least once a week and I have made no progress.

Finally,a fly landed on my frickin eyeball! I know I mentioned that before but it was really creepy and gross, ughh. Sneaky fly.

Monday, November 26

Christmas Cheer, not so alive and well

I am not one of those people who get up at 4 am to go shopping the day after Thanksgiving. Frankly I don't understand the appeal and you couldn't pay me to do it, but to each his own.

The main reason I avoid the crowds is because crowds make me clausterphobic and I am prone to becoming very anxious in them. This weekend I was at the Joann's in Riverpark to buy some christmas decorations and craft supplies and since I was in the area, I stopped by Target to pick up a few items. Naturally it was packed so I wanted to get what I needed and get out. One of the items I was thinking about picking up was Guitar Hero. So I made my way to the Electronics area of the store which was probably the most crowded area to see if they had any left.

I find the case and there was one left. I quickly decide to go ahead and get so I look around for an employee to open the case and as I am walking back with him another customer stops him to ask him a question. So I patiently wait as he explains to some lady that if her nephew has an Xbox, the Wii controller won't work for it and by the time we get back to the case another employee is already there opening it. This emplopyee was behind the counter when I asked the other guy to help me so a customer had come up after me to get his help. As you can probably guess, we both want Guiter Hero.

As soon as we all realize that this is the case the other customer immediately starts saying that he was here first and that he was going to get it. The employees look at each other, both of them know that I asked for assistance first but since my guy was stopped we got to the case later. The employee I was with starts to say that I technically asked for assistance first and attempts to explain it to this guy but he won't hear any of it and says that it wasn't his problem and that he was at the case first so he should get it. Neither of the employees knows what to do and they seem afraid to say anything and I wasn't going to stand there and argue with the guy about Guitar Hero, he was obviously going to fight for it to the death anyway. I thought about challenging him to a Guitar Hero showdown to decide who would walk away with it but then I realized I was still on the easy level and there was a good chance I wouldn't win. So instead I smiled and said, "Go ahead and take it and I hope you have a very Merry Christmas" with a huge smile on my face. He looked a little sheepish after I said that at least.

To continue my cheerful holiday excursion I was looking for those lighted balls to hang from my window and was actually able to find those without a face off with another customer and grabbed a box and beelined to the checkout stand. Well they were out of baskets when I walked in so I have about 6 items that I am trying to carry along with a cup of coffee and I am losing the battle. A pack of batteires slips out of my hand and falls to the ground and I am walking in the middle of this crowd of people so I can't stop to pick it up or people would probably trip over me so I try to try to pick it up but I cant without risking losing everything else in my hand that I am juggling so I end up kicking it to the side so I could stop and put everything down and pick it up. Despite the fact that I was engulfed in a crowd of people kicking a pack of batteries that people had to step over with my hands full not one of them attempted to help me. Then I lose a lean cusine and next was an ornament. All the while people are stepping around me and someone even stepped on my ornament, looked down and it said "oops" and kept going.

Thank you River Park shoppers, and a Merry Christmas to you too.

Wednesday, November 21

Is it time to go to Landmark yet?

I have been gruummppy this morning. I was really craving eggs but I didn't have enough time to make them and I didnt have time to stop to get anything either without being late. So I decided to make some toast when I got to work. Well I ended up burning the toast and almost setting off the smoke detector. I threw the toast away and had to eat my 10 AM protien bar for breakfast. This annoyed me because now I am not going to have my 10 AM meal and will have to wait until lunch to eat or eat cookies and candy-which I won't do. Not a huge deal but I also haven't had coffee yet this morning so I have a tendancy to blow things out of proportion. When it comes to food and eating though I really don't like getting off my scheduled meal times and can get pretty cross when I do get off track.
So then I had to go to Office Depot and on the way there I noticed there was a truck driving right next to me and when I sped up he did and when I slowed down he did. I tried to not look up but I had to get over to the lane he was in. So I make eye contact with him and he starts smiling and motioning to his phone and mouthing "whats your number". Yeah buddy, I am going to give my number to a total stranger who happens to be driving next to me. I give him the shoulder shrug, I dont know what you are talking about look and try to ignore him but he still wont let me get over and he keeps trying to talk to me. So I make a left instead of a right which is where I need to be just to get away from him because I was about to pull in the parking lot and I was afraid he would follow me or think I am stopping because of him. Guys are strange.
On the way back to the office I stopped to get coffee so I am doing much better now but I think I have become one of those people that needs coffee now, yikes! Damn you Starbucks, damn you.

Tuesday, November 20

The Munchkins (or whats left of them) from Wizard of Oz fame have recieved a star on the Hollywood walk of fame. Maybe next year, Oompa Loompas will get the recognition they deserve.
I really have nothing more to say about it, I just found the picture funny and I wanted to label another post with Oompa Loompa.

Friday, November 16

Looking for a Photographer

Does anyone know of a photographer that could take decent pictures of the past buildings we have constructed for our website? I have been put in charge of our website at work and We have a few professionals that we could use but I would like to use a photographer that is good but might just do photography on the side that wouldn't charge an arm and a leg and can get this done in a short amount of time. Please let me know if you have someone in mind, we are looking to get these pictures taken the week after Thanksgiving.

Amy, Amy, Amy

This is a clip of Amy Winehouse at a recent show. You decide what she is doing.

Thursday, November 15

Volunteer this holiday season!

My company has a project in Roeding Park Storyland to remodel and upgrade Alice's Court. We are doing this work for free and still need lots of donated materials, services and cash to make it happen. If volunteeriong some muscle is something you might be interested in we are having a demolition day on Saturday December 1st at 8:00AM. Bring a shovel, rake wheelbarrow, and gloves if you have them and help us upgrade and make over this Fresno landmark. C'mon it is for the kids, it is close to home and your help would be greatly appreciated. Let me know if you can make it!

Monday, November 12

This weekend

So after my tirade on Friday night (sorry about that everyone, I got all fired up and didn't go about that in the most productive way) the rest of the weekend was pretty mellow. I had to dog sit on Saturday night because my parents were at the cabin and my dog Ginger has been having frequent seizures and they didnt want her to be left alone so I went over there and did laundry whatnot. When I was there she did get sick on in the living room and acted very strangely. I didnt see her actually have a seizure but I am pretty sure she did based on her strange behavior. Poor thing, she is already on medication so there isn't much else that can be done.

Sunday I re-arranged the furniture in my living room, cleaned up my office and organized my closet. I have this fettish about re-arranging furniture, I have to do it every couple of months. I think since Kendall has moved out I have re-arranged furniture in the living room alone 4-5 times. This time though I think I have it right. Something about re-arranging furniture just makes me happy. I almost have my apartment exactly the way I want it now, I just need new artwork above my couch in the living room and over my bed and the walls in the office could probably use some snazzing up too. I am going to attempt to be crafty, we will see how that goes. Oh and I also found the necklace I bought in Florence that I haven't been able to find in the past few months. It was on the floor in the closet in my office. This is why I don't wear or own very much jewlery, I am always misplacing it.

So that was my weekend in a nutshell. Next weekend, I will be putting my newly aquired golf skills to the test with my Dad.

Friday, November 9

Friday musings

I don't have anything to post about that is worthy of one in-depth post so I am going to go with the multiple short thoughts and tid bits style of posting today.

- My Dad thinks you that googling and mapquesting are synonymous. I doth protest but it is to no avail.

- My sister uses me as her personal Christmas elf. We usually go in on something for my parents and I usually come up with the idea, buy the gift, wrap it and deliver it. She just sends me a check. Oh the benefit of living far away from your folks. I however get to use the Fresno State football/basketball tickets on occasion when they don't want to go. I think I may have the short end of the stick on this one.

- Work has actually getting better lately. They are finally giving me more control and responsibility and I feel more useful than I did. I may prefer working in a younger environment but I am working and interacting more with subs so that helps counter act having to listen to the Dancing with the Stars recaps and about how awful hot flashes can be all day.

- One of the worst Guinness World Records - Largest collection of airline barf bags. Niek Vermeulen of the Netherlands has 5,180 airline sickness bags from 1,003 different airlines which he has accumulated since the 1970's. Congratufuckinlations, you have something to pass on to your kids when you die. There are some pretty ridiculous records which makes me wonder what qualifications one must have to be a in the book. If someone had the largest collection of hairballs a cat coughed up could they get a Guinness World Record?

-Yay to cloudy and cooler weather! Makes me want to take a nap. Cooler weather also makes me want to re-decorate from some reason. I have to re-arrange furniture every few months, it's almost complusive.

Well if you are still reading at this point, I am impressed with your stamina. You also must have a lot of extra time on your hands. Now go do something productive. That is all.

Thursday, November 8

Largest Cross in the US

So last night I was talking about the big crosses I saw driving cross country and according to google the largest cross in the US is in Groom, Texas and is 19 stories tall. The cross weigh 1,250 tons or 2 1/2 million pounds and took 8 months to complete. And if you believe that there just aren't enough of these eyesores err large crosses, you can donate some money to help them with their goal of putting these "awesome crosses all over America" at this website (warning if you click on this it will play really god awful music so you might want to mute the sound). I also included a picture of hot air balloon Jesus next to the cross for scale purposes and also for the fact that they made a hot air balloon Jesus I found hilarious.

Tuesday, November 6

My Dream Home

Found this website that features this amazing home in Brentwood. It is made of recycled materials, has just about everything high tech you could think etc etc etc and it is beautiful.

Someday, someday...

Screwed! And not the enjoyable kind...

On occasion I receive emails from The National Communication Association (NCA) regarding conferences and papers and publications etc that I used to be involved in when I was in grad school. Usually I delete the emails and don't look too closely at them, but today one caught my eye. It was for the annual NCA convention that is coming up and the topics that will be presented. One presentation that I found to be particularly interesting was Increasing Participation through Identification: A case study of the American Red Cross of Central Texas. Why does that sound interesting you may be asking, because I was in the group that conducted the research and wrote that paper. As I scrolled down to see who the authors were indeed everyone in my group was listed, except me. I may not be in school anymore but I conducted and transcribed 25 interviews with Red Cross volunteers and wrote a good portion of the lit review and did just as much work as everyone else. When we presented our findings to our professor I remember she was impressed and very pleased with our work and suggested that we get it published and/or present it at NCA. I am sure they did some revisions, I read the abstract though and it discussed the same results that we found so fundamentally nothing changed. I suppose they didn't think I would come across it anyway so it was a non issue but I sacrificed sleep and mental health getting that paper done, I think I deserve a little credit! Eh, oh well, it is not like it is going to help me out in my current career.

UPDATE: I received an email a few moments ago from one of my group members (without any prompting either which was weird) saying that the actual paper has all authors on it, including me (I was the only one left off the NCA panel listing for whatever reason). I was also informed that the paper has been submitted to be published in the Journal of Applied Communication Research. I could be a published author in an obscure academic journal that no one has ever heard of! It was actually an interesting paper because we were able to interview people who volunteered at Red Cross shelters after Hurricane Katrina. Their stories and experiences were incredible and we were able to offer some concrete suggestions to the Red Cross on how they could improve communication and improve their volunteer coordination in the event of a crisis like a major Hurricane. No word on if they took any of the advice, but I really liked that this project was centered less in the academic realm and more in the practical realm where I always feel research should be.