I woke up this morning in a good mood. I went to bed at an early time and got a really good nights sleep so I felt refreshed and awake. I get to work and I have problem after problem with my computer but I was still in a good mood and wasn't letting it bother me.
Then my mom came in to talk to me privately and basically let me know that my dad was talking to a lawyer about a 10 year plan that would sell the business two of our superintendents and myself. There has never been a serious duscussion about me taking over the business alone or with partners which I have been happy about because I am not ready to make that type of decision. Although things have gotten better at work, I know construction isnt my passion. Unfortunately I have no idea what my passion is, just what it isnt.
I like that this job is flexible and I work standard hours which allows me to have time to run and train and go to the gym which is extremely important to me. It also is chellenging at times without being a huge stress. The thought of having a job where I can't incorporate that because I work 12 hours a day sounds absolutely miserable to me and I couldnt do it. I have been strugling to find my passion in life since I seriously started thinking about it when I was 21. I have gotten no closer and I am increasingly frustrated by it so lately I have just pushing that aside and trying to ignore it.
My mom also said that the way this 10 year plan would work is we would invest for 10 years into it and if we change our minds at the end of the 10 years, we dont get that money back. So if my dad today told me I had to decide this now my answer would be no, I still don't know if this is what I want to do. My mom doesnt think he will bring this up for awhile, but I am feling really sort of panicked by it. I have been able to push off a final decision if you will but it is closing in on me now and I am going to have to be forced to decide.
I wish I knew what I wanted to do and what I was passionate about, I would give anything to be one of those people who have always known what they wanted and have gone for it. I have the drive I just dont know where the hell I am going. I know that if he asks me about this soon I will have to say no that I am just not comfortable making this decision now that he will suggest that he will probably suggest I find something else to do then. And the feeling of being suffocated creeps in on me, thus ruining my day and the stupid computer keeps fucking up still, not making things any better.
Showing posts with label frustration. Show all posts
Showing posts with label frustration. Show all posts
Friday, February 8
Tuesday, February 5
Fashion Frustrations
I have problems with pants. Two problems to be exact. First, I hate how easily slacks wrinkle in the front at the pockets. I have a brand new pair of wide leg white/khaki pants on and when I stand up I have horizontal lines running across my thighs. It looks terrible and sloppy. I don't think it is a size issue because they fit perfectly at the hips, maybe a little loose but thats because I have to compensate for the booty, which isnt exactly proportional to the waist and hips. From the waist up I should be around 5'3, but from the waist down I should be 5'11. My best friend is 5"11 and we have the same leg length, and I am 5'6, sort of a freak that way I guess.
Anyway the wrinkles in the front, any suggestions?
Also my other problem is pant length. I am in between a normal and a long length in pants. I should get them hemmed to the right length but there also isn't just one right length of pants, it depends on what shoes you are wearing. The same pair of pants wont look good in both a heel and a flat shoe (unless there are some magical pants out there I haven't heard of). So I went on the hunt for products that might solve my problem. I came across two interestion products.
The first is called Zakkerz. The product description says the following:
Well that sounds like it is exactly what I am looking for, except it isnt exactly fashionable (see below)
If you were wearing black pants maybe, otherwise you are adding a black stripe which might look a little odd depending on the pant. They are flexible fabric strips that contain specially designed strong magnets. You roll the pant leg up to desired length, then wrap zakkerz around bottom of pant with one end inside pant leg and other end outside pant leg. The magnets bring the two ends of the zakkerz together – holding the roll-up in place. Iventive, yes. I would be willing to give these a shot and just might do so. A set of (4) is $24.00.
I did find another product however called Out Ease Struts. This addresses the problem of pants getting stuck in the back of your heels when you are wearing slingback shows or blackless shoes (ladies you know what I am talking about). Because of this very problem I stopped even trying to wear an open back shoe with pants and save those shoes for dresses and skirts. This however could have possibility. I am not exactly sure how it works but the website says this:
They don't have any pictures though so it is a little vague. For $12.05 you can get a set of 5 pairs, not bad if they work and with such a low price certainly worth checking out.
If there is anything else out there that would help solve the pant deliemma, do share, it's been driving me crazy for years.
Anyway the wrinkles in the front, any suggestions?
Also my other problem is pant length. I am in between a normal and a long length in pants. I should get them hemmed to the right length but there also isn't just one right length of pants, it depends on what shoes you are wearing. The same pair of pants wont look good in both a heel and a flat shoe (unless there are some magical pants out there I haven't heard of). So I went on the hunt for products that might solve my problem. I came across two interestion products.
The first is called Zakkerz. The product description says the following:
zakkerz (n.) a temporary pant roll-up wrap used to hold pants that have been rolled up to a shorter length for flat shoes. If you have pants that have been hemmed for high heels but want to wear them with flat shoes or sneakers, then you need zakkerz.
Well that sounds like it is exactly what I am looking for, except it isnt exactly fashionable (see below)
If you were wearing black pants maybe, otherwise you are adding a black stripe which might look a little odd depending on the pant. They are flexible fabric strips that contain specially designed strong magnets. You roll the pant leg up to desired length, then wrap zakkerz around bottom of pant with one end inside pant leg and other end outside pant leg. The magnets bring the two ends of the zakkerz together – holding the roll-up in place. Iventive, yes. I would be willing to give these a shot and just might do so. A set of (4) is $24.00.
I did find another product however called Out Ease Struts. This addresses the problem of pants getting stuck in the back of your heels when you are wearing slingback shows or blackless shoes (ladies you know what I am talking about). Because of this very problem I stopped even trying to wear an open back shoe with pants and save those shoes for dresses and skirts. This however could have possibility. I am not exactly sure how it works but the website says this:
They are quickly and easily attached and you're ready to go! Simply remove the adhesive backing and place inside the back center of your pant hem. You can crease or curve it to form. When you are ready to launder your garment, peel off the strips and discard.
They don't have any pictures though so it is a little vague. For $12.05 you can get a set of 5 pairs, not bad if they work and with such a low price certainly worth checking out.
If there is anything else out there that would help solve the pant deliemma, do share, it's been driving me crazy for years.
Tuesday, October 16
What I learned today
I am very bad at letting things go when I know I am right. We had a bid today and I am the desinated bid runner. Let me give you a short synopsis of how the bid process works. We have subcontractors calling us and faxing us bids for their particular scope of work. We list the lowest bids and put together a total price which we then turn into the owner at the specified time. It can get pretty stressful because we often don't know what our price will be until just minutes before the time the bid is due so I am on the phone with the office, scribling our number down so we can turn it in on tine (if you are 10 seconds late at turning in a bid, it gets thrown out).
So today I was getting ready to leave for the bid and I look over the info I have to fill out and I specifically ask my dad if I need to list any subcontractors on the paperwork this time and he says No. I follow that question up with, so the only thing I need to fill out are the base bids and the alternates and he says Yes.So I am where I need to turn the bid in and I am on the phone and it goes something like this:
Dad: "Ok lets list subs"
Me: "You told me we didn't have to list subs"
Dad: "No I didn't"
Me: (This is where I start getting myself in trouble) "Yes you did, I asked you right before I left if I needed to list subs and you said no"
Dad: "Kasey this is a previaling wage project, we always list subs- you asked if you needed to list the subs before you left"
Kasey: "Well, you must have misunderstood me because I was asking if the subs needed to be listed for this bid-"
Dad: "Stop aruing with me, thats not what you asked"
Kasey: "Fine"
Obviously we were pressed for time otherwise I would have continued that argument, even though I know that it wouldn't do anybody any good I just can't let that stuff go. So I call back later, about 5 minutes before the bid (I still don't have a number and I have to not only write the numbers but also write them in words as well and there are 3 total numbers we list so I am short on time). He gives me the number, I ask him to repeat it because it was loud and I couldnt hear very well I hear him say (and he wasn't praying but definitely using it in vain towards me) "Jesus Christ" - GRRR! I kept my mouth shut this time because I still needed to write the numbers down but I was really annoyed because in fact I didn't hear him correctly and I would have turned in the wrong number had I not asked.
Well the good news is we were the low bidder so all is well that ends well but I am still annoyed. I think part of the problem also is that he is a stubborn old man and refuses to get his hearing checked even though he can't hear everything. He doesn't even hear me come in the office in the morning...hmmm do you think that might turn into misunderstandings sometimes? Obviously I also need to learn to just keep my mouth shut but that is not something I am good at doing. It isn't my fault though, I was raised that way:) Honestly ask my sister, she is the same way too but I would much rather speak up than be be some quiet, timid little thing that doesn't stand up for herself. I will have to work on the happy medium.
So today I was getting ready to leave for the bid and I look over the info I have to fill out and I specifically ask my dad if I need to list any subcontractors on the paperwork this time and he says No. I follow that question up with, so the only thing I need to fill out are the base bids and the alternates and he says Yes.So I am where I need to turn the bid in and I am on the phone and it goes something like this:
Dad: "Ok lets list subs"
Me: "You told me we didn't have to list subs"
Dad: "No I didn't"
Me: (This is where I start getting myself in trouble) "Yes you did, I asked you right before I left if I needed to list subs and you said no"
Dad: "Kasey this is a previaling wage project, we always list subs- you asked if you needed to list the subs before you left"
Kasey: "Well, you must have misunderstood me because I was asking if the subs needed to be listed for this bid-"
Dad: "Stop aruing with me, thats not what you asked"
Kasey: "Fine"
Obviously we were pressed for time otherwise I would have continued that argument, even though I know that it wouldn't do anybody any good I just can't let that stuff go. So I call back later, about 5 minutes before the bid (I still don't have a number and I have to not only write the numbers but also write them in words as well and there are 3 total numbers we list so I am short on time). He gives me the number, I ask him to repeat it because it was loud and I couldnt hear very well I hear him say (and he wasn't praying but definitely using it in vain towards me) "Jesus Christ" - GRRR! I kept my mouth shut this time because I still needed to write the numbers down but I was really annoyed because in fact I didn't hear him correctly and I would have turned in the wrong number had I not asked.
Well the good news is we were the low bidder so all is well that ends well but I am still annoyed. I think part of the problem also is that he is a stubborn old man and refuses to get his hearing checked even though he can't hear everything. He doesn't even hear me come in the office in the morning...hmmm do you think that might turn into misunderstandings sometimes? Obviously I also need to learn to just keep my mouth shut but that is not something I am good at doing. It isn't my fault though, I was raised that way:) Honestly ask my sister, she is the same way too but I would much rather speak up than be be some quiet, timid little thing that doesn't stand up for herself. I will have to work on the happy medium.
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