A soccer coach in Scitute, MA resigned recently over an email he sent to the parents of the 6-7 ear old girls he was going to be coaching. It has been controversial because it was not appreciated by the parents who complained enough to prompt him to resign, however a lot of other people find him a victim of political correctness. I will let you read the email and see what you think:
THE COACH’S ORIGINAL E-MAIL
Congratulations on being selected for Team 7 (forest green shirts) of the Scituate Soccer Club! My name is Michael and I have been fortunate enough to be selected to coach what I know will be a wonderful group of young ladies. Chris Mac will also be coaching and I expect the ever popular Terry to return to the sidelines. Our first game will be Saturday April 4 at 10:00AM. There will be a half hour of skills followed by a 1 hour game, so total time will be 1.5 hours. All games will be played on the fields in the front of the High School. Each player will be required to wear shin guards and cleats are recommended but not required. A ball will be provided to each player at the first meeting, and each player should bring the ball to games and practices. There is no set practice time allotted for the U8 teams, but I will convene with the coaches to determine the best time and place. If there are cancellations due to rain, all notices will be posted via the Scituate Soccer Club website, no calls will be made (though I will try to send an email). Attached is the Schedule and Code of Conduct. After listening to the head of the referees drone on for about 30 minutes on the dangers of jewelry (time which I will never get back), no player will be allowed to play with pierced ears, hairclips, etc. We used to tape the earings, but that practice is no longer acceptable. Please let me know if your child has any health issues that I need to be aware of. My home phone is 781 XXX XXXX, my cell number is 781 XXX XXXX, and I check my email frequently. According to my wife, my emails get too wordy, so for those of you read too slowly, are easily offended, or are too busy, you can stop here. For the others……
OK, here’s the real deal: Team 7 will be called Green Death. We will only acknowledge “Team 7” for scheduling and disciplinary purposes. Green Death has had a long and colorful history, and I fully expect every player and parent to be on board with the team. This is not a team, but a family (some say cult), that you belong to forever. We play fair at all times, but we play tough and physical soccer. We have some returning players who know the deal; for the others, I only expect 110% at every game and practice. We do not cater to superstars, but prefer the gritty determination of journeymen who bring their lunch pail to work every week, chase every ball and dig in corners like a Michael Vick pit bull. Unless there is an issue concerning the health of my players or inside info on the opposition, you probably don’t need to talk to me. Coach MacDonald has been designated “good guy” this year.
Some say soccer at this age is about fun and I completely agree. However, I believe winning is fun and losing is for losers. Ergo, we will strive for the “W” in each game. While we may not win every game (excuse me, I just got a little nauseated) I expect us to fight for every loose ball and play every shift as if it were the finals of the World Cup. While I spent a good Saturday morning listening to the legal liability BS, which included a 30 minute dissertation on how we need to baby the kids and especially the refs, I was disgusted. The kids will run, they will fall, get bumps, bruises and even bleed a little. Big deal, it’s good for them (but I do hope the other team is the one bleeding). If the refs can’t handle a little criticism, then they should turn in their whistle. The sooner they figure out how to make a decision and live with the consequences the better. My heckling of the refs is actually helping them develop as people. The political correctness police are not welcome on my sidelines. America’s youth is becoming fat, lazy and non-competitive because competition is viewed as “bad”. I argue that competition is good and is important to the evolution of our species and our survival in what has become an increasingly competitive global economy and dangerous world. Second place trophies are nothing to be proud of as they serve only as a reminder that you missed your goal; their only useful purpose is as an inspiration to do that next set of reps. Do you go to a job interview and not care about winning? Don’t animals eat what they kill (and yes, someone actually kills the meat we eat too – it isn’t grown in plastic wrap)? And speaking of meat, I expect that the ladies be put on a diet of fish, undercooked red meat and lots of veggies. No junk food. Protein shakes are encouraged, and while blood doping and HGH use is frowned upon, there is no testing policy. And at the risk of stating the obvious, blue slushies are for winners.
These are my views and not necessarily the views of the league (but they should be). I recognize that my school of thought may be an ideological shift from conventional norms. But it is imperative that we all fight the good fight, get involved now and resist the urge to become sweat-xedo-wearing yuppies who sit on the sidelines in their LL Bean chairs sipping mocha-latte-half-caf-chinos while discussing reality TV and home decorating with other feeble-minded folks. I want to hear cheering, I want to hear encouragement, I want to get the team pumped up at each and every game and know they are playing for something.
Lastly, we are all cognizant of the soft bigotry that expects women and especially little girls, to be dainty and submissive; I wholeheartedly reject such drivel. My overarching goal is develop ladies who are confident and fearless, who will stand up for their beliefs and challenge the status quo. Girls who will kick ass and take names on the field, off the field and throughout their lives. I want these girls to be winners in the game of life. Who’s with me?
Go Green Death!
KINAHAN’S RESIGNATION
Team, After careful consideration, I have decided to resign from all coaching responsibilities related to Team 7 this season. Unfortunately, it has come to my attention that some parents and the Board of Scituate Soccer failed to see the humor in my pre-season email. For the avoidance of doubt, the email was largely (albeit not completely) meant in jest and with the goal of giving the parents a chuckle while enduring yet another round of organized youth sports. It was also meant as a satire of those who take youth sports too seriously for the wrong reasons. My overarching goal is the well-being of my players, and I do not want any player to feel uncomfortable, nor do I want to see the team disbanded because of a lack of active players. Therefore, while I’d prefer to go down swinging, it’s really about the kids and it just makes more sense for me to take the year off.
While I respectfully disagree with the Board's interpretation of my comments, I believe that they should be commended for their immediate actions to address the concerns of the offended parties. The Board’s action proves that the chain of command is functioning as designed. Board members volunteer their valuable time and I do not plan to add to their already significant workload. I also respect those parents who were offended as I am sure they acted in the best interest of their children. While I may question their sense of humor, I have no right to question their judgment regarding their children. Perhaps we may even have beer (I’ll buy) and a couple of laughs at the end of all of this.
And while I am sorry some people failed to see the humor, I do not apologize for my actions; I wrote it, I think it's funny and I do have a distaste for the tediousness of overbearing political correctness. Furthermore, I was serious about parental involvement as I do believe parents should cheer and encourage players (in a positive fashion obviously) so that the kids feel the excitement that comes from team competition. And most importantly, I was completely serious that I want to see each young girl develop a positive self image, self-confidence and the will to succeed in any endeavor that she desires. Lastly, I have added some comments to my initial email (in capitals) to clarify several points that may have been viewed as offensive.
Sincerely,
Michael A. Kinahan
Go Green Death!
You probably know where I stand on this, but I think that parents overracted to this email. Granted he probably could have been more thoughtful when first introducing himself to parents because he didn't know how some parents might take his humor and philosophy, but the parents did't even really give him a chance to respond or even show them how he coached before they got all up in arms and wrote him off.
This statement:
"Lastly, we are all cognizant of the soft bigotry that expects women and especially little girls, to be dainty and submissive; I wholeheartedly reject such drivel. My overarching goal is develop ladies who are confident and fearless, who will stand up for their beliefs and challenge the status quo. Girls who will kick ass and take names on the field, off the field and throughout their lives. I want these girls to be winners in the game of life. Who’s with me?"
really resonated with me. Yes they are young but we teach boys at this age to be confident and fearless. I wonder if it were a group of boys if there would be such uproar? Probably not because boys can take it, but god forbid we treat girls the same way.
I would also like to note that parents of girls he coached last year had nothing but praise for him. One comment from where this was posted reads:
"Our daughter played on Coach Kinahan's team last year; His conduct was always positive and inspirational. Our daughter loved going to practice and playing in every game where she came out of her shy shell and blossomed on the field due largely to Coach Kinahan's encouragement. Keep your head high Coach!"
There were 2 other similar comments and no comments from parents complaining about having him as a coach.
It is disheartening to me to see things like this. I believe that sports can teach you a lot about life and make you a better person and it seems to me that this coach knew how to do that well and now a group of girls may not get that chance. Sad.
10 comments:
It was a dumb email.
He could have been entirely inspirational without expounding on the politics of store bought meat or the BS of safety.
He can defend himself and call it satire, but if he's such a great coach, he should stick to coaching and not trying to be funny in an introductory email.
See all the letters to the editor I've posted in which its difficult to tell whether the author is joking or serious.
And his apology is the classic, "I stepped in it, but it's your fault."
Sorry, but if you make a mistake, own it, don't tell me five or six or however many times he said it, that I don't have a sense of humor.
That's just weak.
I thought it was funny. He probably should have expected some parents to be offended though.
It wasn't meant to be an apology letter. It was a resignation and I thought his resignation letter was valid. He didn't agree with their position, why should he apologize for something he really isnt sorry for? The intent of the letter was to explain himself, which he never got much of a chance to do. If I said something that was meant to be funny but people took me seriously I wouldn't feel obligated to apologize for it either.
As far as his original letter goes, it seems to me that he let his personality come across in it which other people really didn't get. It is difficult to read into satire and sarcasm etc. so it was misinterpreted but there was no ill intent in it. You can tell in the last paragraph that he really cares for the girls he is coaching. So one little mistep is enough to negate a whole career of coaching that he has done very well?
The immediate reaction from parents was to go to the board of trustees and not to go to the person who sent it and express their feelings to the person they have a problem with, like an adult should. It was blown out of proportion in my opinion.
And again in my opinion, I do not think that parents would care about this letter if he was coaching boys.
Sorry, but you can't take potshots at vegetarians, people who wear LL Bean, people who are PC, in a letter to people who don't know you, but expect you to supervise their 7 year olds.
Try sending a letter like that to a bunch of parents when you're starting a baby-sitting business.
Professionalism is what he lacked and his immediate jump to resigned defensiveness didn't help his cause. If he truly believed he was in the clear, he shouldn't have gone down without a fight. For someone who appreciates the competitive spirit of sports, I'm not impressed by a person who won't work to regain confidences.
You don't get to tell a joke that someone else finds offensive and then be combative about it.
I don't define your level of comfort.
He explained the reason he didnt fight it:
"My overarching goal is the well-being of my players, and I do not want any player to feel uncomfortable, nor do I want to see the team disbanded because of a lack of active players. Therefore, while I’d prefer to go down swinging, it’s really about the kids"
Even when you think or know you are right about something, sometimes arguing and fighting is not the right thing to do. I have a lot more respect for people who know when to stand up for themselves and know when to walk away because it might hurt other people, in this case children.
And I have no idea what you mean when you say that he was being combative. He stated his opinion respectfully.
By not apologizing.
When I offend someone, regardless of whether or not I intended to, I don't say, "No, I won't apologize, you're just being sensitive/you don't have a sense of humor."
Especially when I've forced that offense on them. It's different if I choose to go to a comedy show, or read someone's blog, but when that offense shows up in my inbox from a coach that I expect to be responsible for my children who then calls me humorless when I don't like it...no.
That's combative.
Yes, they should have talked to him first. No, they are not in the wrong for being offended.
Get your official "Go Green Death!" t-shirt @
www.gogreendeath.com
wow, i'm late to the game. and i probably would have gotten yelled at for that.
seriously, that email was ridiculous. you're coaching under 8's. the goal is to teach them the skills of the game, to teach the strategy, and hard work. you can do all that without writing emails that will easily be misunderstood. and, also do it without lines like, "chase every ball and dig in corners like a Michael Vick pit bull." really? you want to make a reference to a guy doing federal time for dog fighting? you think that's going to sit well with parents?
i get what he's trying to say. he wants hard workers. he wants parents that cheer. he wants kids to have fun and win.
but the gender issue has little to do with anything else that he said in the email. it's tacked on. if you really felt that way, say it first. don't even put it in the section of "For the others……" If it's your overarching goal (which he says) then give it early and often, not at the end.
having played sports all my life, i had coaches that pushed us, and did it well. i also had a douchebag soccer coach (i think under 10's or maybe 12's) that was straight out of the marines and felt that we should be treated like little marines. bullshit. we're
kids there to play soccer, not get treated like soldiers.
finally, let's look @ the part where he talks about "criticizing" the refs. you know what, you're wrong. as a coach you speak to the ref. you are a role model. if they see you, the coach, acting like a jackass, yelling at the refs, bitching about every call all under the banner of "criticism" you're teaching a poor lesson. if parents want act a fool in this manner, you should speak to your team parents and set reasonable boundaries. i yelled at a ref the other day at roller derby. once. voiced my opinion on his suckiness, and was done with it. keep yelling, and you look like the asshole, not the ref.
In summary for me, he wote an email that was not in the best taste, he meant to be funny and people were offended. What part actually offended them was not made clear, we are just guessing about that, but I think the parents went too far to go to the board to get him to resign.
I get the joke, some people do not and I can understand that, I don't have the same sense of humor as everyone else. We have all made gaffes in our lives so I think they should have tried to give him a chance to explain himself.
Past parents support him. I have had coaches like that at a young age too and they were my favorite coaches by far. To me, this was blown out of proportion.
And that is all I have to say about that.
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