Why is self reflection so painful and changing so hard?

I say this in all seriousness, however I have a story to illustrate my pointthat you may find funny.

I often butt heads with my mom, mostly because we are so much alike. Unfortunately the characteristics that we share are the characteristics that I hate most in myself. When I see or hear her being negative or speaking with a particular nasty tone in her voice, I immediately cringe because it sounds so horrible and reminds me of myself. It is putting a mirror in front of my face and seeing that part of me that I try to ignore is there. The reality though is that I have these negative qualities to my personality and as much as I want to change them, they always seem to creep back in.

During my lunch hour my mom and I went to look at some new houses. I was dissapointed because the houses that I liked I could not comfortably afford mortage payments for along with property taxes, etc and the houses that I could afford were apartments pretending to be houses. My mood was negative yes, but I felt I was justified because buying a house is a really difficult and frustrating process and I was dissapointed and stressed.

Well my mom didn't really think so and she basically told me she hated to be around me when I am negative (or rather, she hates to be around me when I act like she does because it reminds her of how awful she is to be around when she is like that). I raised my voice and reiterated that I wish she would be more understanding of what I am going through. On a side note, my mom started dating my dad in Jr. High. They briefly broke up in college but once my dad graduated from college they were back together and they got married and had her first baby by the time she was my age. We have lived completely different lives and as much as I don't understand what it is like to be a stay at home mom and have a husband and children, I don't think she always realizes that life isn't so easy for a single woman in her late 20s either.

In any case she responded by telling me that even though I might be stressed I should basically suck it up and be more positive, which is sooooo incredibly ironic because she often acts the exact same way. If she is having a bad day at work (usually because something insigificant like the printer jamming)she will start saying "shut up" in a really nasty tone to the phone everytime it rings.

Anyway we continued bickering because we feed off of each other and by this time we had arrived to pick up some lunch at Quizno's. As we were walking from the parking lot she said something that really made me mad (I don't even remember what she said anymore) and I stopped, turned around and said "Forget it, I will just wait here" and headed back to the car. I know, so dramatic right? This is my signature move though, when someone really pisses me off I will want to leave the conversation as quickly as possible in order to cool down so I don't say something I will regret and also because I really don't want to be in the company of that person anymore.

My mom replies "oh come on you are beng ridiculous" to which I say "I am not hungry anymore". So my mom walks back to the car to leave and I tell her she should get her lunch and she says, "I will be fine, I don't need to eat" and I tell her that she is being just as ridiculous as me and then I turn to go back to Quiznos to get lunch (god this is painful to tell people, I am so stupid and dramatic sometimes). I wouldn't have been suprised if my mom drove off without me but she didn't and I ordered her lunch as well and when I got back into the car I said in a lighter tone of voice, "it is ridiculous that you get mad at me for acting the same exact way as you do and vice versa". We both started laughing and the disagreement was over.

We did continue to talk about how we hear that negativity in each other but can't seem to put a stop to it in ourselves. My mom is the same way as her mom was and my sister can be the same way as us as well. I don't know if this is genetic or learned but I find it odd that I can develop a characteristic in myself that I have such a contempt for in other people. But I suppoose that is how the cycle of abuse continues through generations and how people can inherit the tempers of their predeccessors.

Part of the problem is that even though I know that I can speak in a very negative manner and tone, I usually don't mean anything by it and it is suprising to me that people take it wrong. I also like to try to attribute that the other person being sensitive. I realize I will never be one of those people who is just as sweet as pie all the time, but I need to work on my tendancy to immediately react to things because that's when I get myself in trouble.

I would really like to be more like my dad when it comes to those things and for a long time growing up I was a lot like my dad. I am not sure what happened (hormones perhaps?) but he doesn't immediately react to things but stays quiet and thinks before he speaks. On many occassions I have witnessed someone who was incredibly angry yelling at my dad (this is usually work related) and he never reacts at all but lets them scream and hollar and all the while he remains calm, rational and level headed. 9 out of 10 times they cool down, realize they are acting ridiculous and the problem is resolved without it escalating. He does it to me all of the time and that is the quality that I admire most about him and that I most wish to emmlate. Unfortunately I feel like half the time I do the exact opposite thing.

I feel like I am at least aware of all of this but the hard part for me is to figure out how to change my behavior. I want to be a person that people find likeable and friendly and nice and I know that I generally am, but this damn other side of me likes to jump in the middle of things and before I know it, the bitch comes out. I am very lucky that I can talk to my mom about this honestly and we can laugh at how ridiculous we are and remind ourselves to work on it, but it is the main thing I want and need to change in myself.

What are your top ten foods?

I was browsing through my regular blogs and came upon a link to an article from Epicurious regarding people's top ten foods they can't live without. The author listed the following as her top ten foods:
Cheese
Coffee
Tomatoes
Chocolate (usually dark)
Bread
Wine (usually red)
Pasta
Tea
Yogurt
Garlic

Readers then proceeded to list their top ten foods they can't live without. So I wonder, what are your top ten foods? I struggled with this for a bit but this is what I came up with:

Cheese
Eggs
Chicken
Salad
Chocolate
Bread
Citrus Fruits
Sushi
Tacos
Pizza

Your turn, tell me what foods you can't live without!

NCAA Basketball Bracket UPDATE

My upsets did not transpire ysterday so I did not fair so well, but we are al still pretty close. As of this morning here are the current standings:

Dad - 14
Brian - 13
Ed - 12
Annie - 12
Mom - 12
Kasey - 11

Yes it is a small pool this year, we had a lot of bailers.

On a related note, I apparently have very vigilant neighbors. My newer neighbors upstairs next to me seem very friendly. They are a married couple from southern California and the husband is a big time talker. I guess he saw Ed putting his bracket in my mailbox on Wednesday night and proceeded to tell my landlord that he saw someone suspicious looking through my mailbox, ha! Ed it looks like you are quite the shady looking character.

My landlord is the one who told me this and when I said that it must have been my friend Ed that he saw because he was leaving a basketball bracket in my mailbox that night, my landlord proceeded to inform me that it was illegal to put something that wasn't the US mail in mailboxes. I gave him a quizzical look and said, he was just dropping it off and I didn't want him to have to go up the stairs because he has a bad knee. Whatever Bob. He can be so odd sometimes.

You know who is dumb?

Me. Work started out just fine but this afternoon I could feel a big mood shift and I started to feel really anxious and agitated and I didn't know why. Then I thought back at what I had to drink today and realized I was on a severe caffiene overload and probably dehydrated on top of that. I brought a Sugar free rock star to drink this morning but when I got to work Tennesse asked if I wanted something from Starbucks, well heck yes I did. So he gave me some money and I escaped work for a few, went to Starbucks and ordered a Venti (thats the big one that already has 3 shots of espresso in it) skinny iced vanilla latte. While I was witing for my order the guy asked if I wanted an extra shot for free, again heck yes I did. I enjoyed my latte and then went ahead and finished my rock star, which brings me to 460 mg of caffeine for the day. Then I ordered a large iced tea for lunch which is approximately another 100 mgs of caffiene. So in total I have had around 600 mgs of caffiene and no water (I am usually much better at drinking water too).

So that explains to panic attack I feel like I am having. I am not even going to the gym today because Thursday is usually my rest day so I won't be burning any of this off.

I feel like a crazy person.

I think eharmony needs more diverse "Closed Match" messages or they should let you send short answer closed messages of your own. The "Closed Message" is what you send when you aren't interested and they let you pick things like "I think the physical distance is too great", "I am persuing anoother relationship", "I think our backrounds are too different" yada yada.
Sometimes those options just don't do it for me and I feel like I need more options. For example they don't have an option that reads, "Because you use too much hair gel" or "Beacuse you posted a picture of yourself posing without your shirt on and you definitely greased yourself up for it" or simply "You look like a complete douche bag". I think these might be a little more helpful because it gives some concrete feedback.
As of right now, if the guy looks like a nice guy but I am just not attracted I send the "I am persuing anoother relationship" because it is the nicest closed message to get. Much better than "Other". I get annoyed when a guy who looks like a total douche sends me that message. I want to reply "Really? Because you never even had a chance".
Matches thus far on eharmony = 0
Months Left Until My Subscription Expires = 2

Centerpoint now has a tanning bed. It appears they got rid of the massage room and it is now a tanning room. I know that there are many gyms that have this but I still find it strange that a place that promotes physical health has something that is so bad for your health. Even so I still sort of want to use it (see picture of my pasty legs in the post below)but I would feel way to ashamed to use one there. At least at a tanning salon you know no one there will judge you. But I will stick to my spray tan, I know it isn't worth it in the long run, especially for someone fair and freckled like me.
The other issue I have is why would Centerpoint spend money on a tanning bed when they have had a leaky roof for years that needs to be fixed. I think that money would be better spent going towards fixing a few of those holes so when it rains the machines don't get wet and rust. During the last storm I was doing squats on the smith machine with water dripping on me the entire time. Plus it is just ghetto when you walk in the weight room and there are buckets catching water everywhere.

I do realize a roof is more expensive than a tanning bed, but I am doubtful they are going to make much money by having that. I could be wrong though, that gym has been there awhile and they havent gone out of business yet so they must have some sort of clue of what they are doing. I just found it to be an odd business decision.

I Think We All Knew She Was a Whack Job...

That is anyone who watched the last season of Project Runway. According to TMZ Kenley Collins, the whiney, whiney contestant with the retro style (did I mention she was whiney?)is behind bars right now for attacking her sleeping ex-fiance with anything she could get her hands on -- including a cat, a laptop, several apples and water. And if in real life she is anything like she was on the show, she will blame someone else for this incident (watch out Tim Gunn!) and take zero responsiblity. She's had a rough life! (I totally loved her Steve McQueen dress though, even if it was a rip off)

Today, I am a human highlighter

Spring weather is finally upon us! I love the warmth in the air and I also love that I can start wearing dresses comfortably again. One of the many gripes I have about winter is that figuring out what to wear is so much more difficult. When the weather is warm I pick a dress, throw on some heels and I am good to go.
Today, I am stepping somewhat outside of my comfort zone and I am sporting a bright pink dress. I don't really like the color pink because I don't really like to be seen as a girly girl and pink is the ultimate girly color. I bought this dress from Kmart of all places for a measely 22 bucks and was psyched about the deal. When I put it on today I realized just how bright it was and I felt like a ginormous highlighter. I didn't realize just how accurate that was until I put an actual highlighter up to my dress and saw that it was the exact same color:

I do love the dress though and I am trying to embrace my inner girly girl side by wearing it. It certainly brightens the room at the very least.
That picture reminds me that I need to start spray tanning again too.

Reminder

Don't forget, NCCAA Tournament Brackets need to get to me either via email or left at my place by tomorrow morning. Spread the word, the more people we get in ths pool the more money one of us will win!

This weekend I was at Venice Beach and saw a peddler selling Obama merchandise. He had just about everything from blankets to coffee mugs with the depiciton of Obama and his slogan "yes we can" plastered everywhere on the various items. As odd as some of those products were, I have found some even stranger items thanks to gigglesugar and their slideshow of Crazy Obama Products.

I am not sure which I find the most odd, the Obama dildo(in democratic blue of course), the Obama thong , Germany's Obama fingers or the nude Obama on an Unicorn painting.

Even though Obama's approval rate as slightly declined, there is apparantly still a market for this bizzare and inapropriate crap. It begs the question, what the hell is wrong with people? He is the President, not a sex toy or a bar snack - well maybe to Michelle he is but not the general population (sex toy not bar snack). The nude Obama on a Unicorn though cracks me up, that is so ridiculous.

Happy St. Patrick's Day

Do you not tan well? Are you the spawn of speckled sperm? If so, you might be Irish! They say everyone is Irish on St. Patrick's Day, but I actually do have a wee bit of Irish blood in me. However I also hate beer and I am not a meat (or corned beef, yuck) and potatoes kinda gal so the real Irish would probably be ashamed of me.

That being said, I also find the Irish stereotype quite humorous, so in the spirit of the Holiday, here is a musical number from Family Guy from the episode "Peters Two Dads". I looked everywhere for the full clip of this song, but could only find these compilations of different clips because of copyright issues I suppose. Anyway the lyrics are below, please to enjoy!

LYRICS-
Peter: Oh, he doesn't smell like Irish Spring,
And he never taught me anything,
But still I slap my chest and sing -
Of My Drunken Irish Dad.
Oh, his face looks like a railroad map,
And he never shuts his freakin' trap...

Mickey: But all the ladies catch the clap
From your Drunken Irish Dad.

Peter: Ask a Hennessey, Tennessey, Morrison,
Shaughnessy, Reardon, and Rooney...
They'll tell you the same
McNulty, Mulrooney, and Connor and Clooney,
All feel the same mixture of pride and of
shame.

Mickey: Finnegan, Hannigan, Kelly, and Flanagan.
Look to the ground while their dad passes by
Cafferty, Rafferty, Joyce and O'Lafferty,
Fight for his honor and then start to cry!

(People in the bar dance and brawl while others play the fiddle, flute, and accordian.)

Both: Oh, we Irish lads are all infirm,
And our moods infect us like a germ
'Cause we're all the spawn of a pickled sperm...

Mickey: (Spoken) And we don't tan well either.

All: ...From a Drunken Irish Dad!!

St. Patrick's Day is On Its Way

With St. Patrick's day being tomorrow, two things have come to my mind. First, I need to make sure that I pick up a good pair of ear plugs before tomorrow night so I can sleep and second, just exactly how many calories are in those Irish beverages we all love to consume?

The answer to the second question turns out to be not so bad for me since I am not a beer drinker and Jamison would be my whiskey of choice:

Draft pint of Guinness Stout = 210 calories
12-ounce serving of Harp Lager = 142 calories
Two-ounce shot of Jameson Whiskey = 138 calories

Ahh Whiskey, you never let me down.

Although I probably won't be drinking any of these beverages tomorrow night (it is a school night afterall) I thought this might be helpful to others and it is also good to know for future reference.

NCAA Men's Basketball Tournament

The tournament bracket for the NCAA Men's Basketball Tournament was announced yesterday which means it is time to do your research and pick your winners. I need your bracket by the start of the first round on Thursday, March 19th and if we could all use the same bracket, that would be helpful for me, so please use this one.

Email me your bracket and there is a $10 buy-in you can give me whenever you see me next. We are going to determine the winner by most wins and the loser will be determined by he most loses.

If you know of anyone who would want to participate let them know, the more money in the pot the better! The final game on April 6th will be watched at Hero's downtown for those who want to attend.

*Note: I updated the link to the bracket with a bracket that has the records of the teams so make sure you are using the "Maddux Sports 2009 Printable NCAA Tournament Bracket". Also, the play in game for the 16 seed in the the Midwest pool will not be counted.

Glow in the Dark Tattoos...

Some of us were discussing the existence of glow in the dark tattoos last weekend and although I was reulctant to believe that they exist, indeed they do. According to Wikipedia:

UV tattoos or blacklight tattoos are tattoos made with a special ink that is only visible under a blacklight. UV tattoo ink is not commonly known or used, as very few varieties of UV inks are approved for use in the US. It is also many times more expensive than regular tattoo inks. Some people have had reactions to ingredients in the ink, ranging from minor itching to dermatitis. Several UV inks are suspected carcinogens and allergens and at this time, no research has been conducted into the possible side effects of long term exposure. Some UV inks are known to yellow or turn slightly brown with sun exposure.UV inking takes a little bit longer than normal, due to UV inks being a little thinner and harder to work with, and because the tattoo must be wiped and checked under a blacklight frequently during application.

Personally I prefer regular ink, but if you are looking for something to impress people at the next rave you go to, you might just want to consider it.

Oh Online Dating

I don't recall clicking on being interested in this particular type of man when I filled out my profile but at least half of the matches that I get are 5'4" asian men. I admit that as a race I am not usually very attracted to asian men, probably because they tend to be a little shorter and I am 5'6" and wear 4 inch heels. Maybe that makes me shallow but I am attracted to a taller man.

There are very few matches that I am interested in, but maybe I need to give people more of a chance. I just find being physically attracted to someone important. I have never met someone that I didn't find attractive initially turn into someone I was attracted to because of their personality. I like those people yes, I am just not romantically interested in them.

As of right now there is one person that I am communicating with and he lives on the coast which is problematic. Ideally I don't want to become involved with someone in a long distance relationship. I have done that in the past and it's not terrible but it is definitely inconvenient and if things work out then there is the whole problem of one of us having to uproot our life and move. So I won't rule it out, if I connect with someone I am not going to ignore it because of that reason, but I really would rather find someone locally.

And the search continues...

Long Post Adressing My "Obsession" with Working Out

*Note: This post was spurred by a conversation I had with someone yesterday, but I have had to address this at other times with other people as well so I am setting the record straight

I have been accused more than once about being obsessed with working out. I am not going to argue with that assessment as I understand why people would think that since I do go to the gym 6 days a week and the only reason I don't do 7 days is because it isn't good for your body (otherwise I would because I literally have to force myself to take that day off). The misconception that I want to address however are the reasons that I exercise.

Obviously one of the reasons that I exercise is vanity. Yes, I want to look good and feel good about how I look and I want my clothes to fit well. Shopping is a whole hell of a lot easier when you are in good shape and we all know I love to shop. The catalyst for me working out a long time ago was definitely vanity. I wanted to look good. Since then however, I have developed many other reasons for working out that have become just as motivating for me as wanting to look good.

First, exercise for me is the best anti-depressant there is. When I was living in Austin I went through a period of time where I felt very depressed to the point where I realized I had to do something about it because I was miserable. I considered going on an anti depressant drug but after looking into that I didn't want the side effects that come with using anti depressants and I really didn't want to be medicated. So instead I decided I would train for a marathon. I thought having a goal like that to accomplish would keep me focused and the exercise endorphins themselves would also help. I started running before and after work and for 3 months was a running machine. When I finally ran it and finished, it was one of the happiest moments of my life. Anytime I feel depressed or antsy or stressed out, exercising helps alleviate those negative emotions for me 100% of the time. They don't go away completely but they somehow seem more managageable and I always feel better after a workout.

Second, exercise is a passion for me. Much like people paint or get involved in politics or hell even civil war reanactments, I love to exercise. For a lot of people exercise feels like a punishment that they have to force themselves to do because of health reasons or because they don't want to get fat. They find the act of exercise uncomfortbale and exhausting and just hate to do it. Because of that mindset they sometimes assume that I am also forcing myself because exercise could not possibly be enjoyable and thus I am obsessed with not getting fat. That is incredibly inaccurate.

I find the science and biology behind exercise absolutely fascinating. It is amazing to me that you can change and shape your body in any number of ways and how particular movements and amount of weights can achieve this. There are so many ways to exercise and numerous debates over things like bench presses versus dumbbell presses, the amount of reps you should do, what parts of the body should be worked and how often, the amount of weight you should use to get the best results, how frequently you should change your workout, cardio versus weight training versus yoga or pilates, etc. etc. Exercise is one of those things that you can read about and study and then you can physically see the results of all of these ideas and philosohpies on your own body. I am my own science experiment.

Additionally, exercise not only trains your body but it also trains your mind. When people are new to exercise they often have trouble telling the difference between good pain and injury pain. When their muscles start to burn their brains think there is something wrong and tell their body to stop. It is difficult for them to push through that pain at first because they are not accustomed to feeling it. Once your brain starts telling the difference between good pain and bad pain though it allows the body to push further and make gains. It absolutely burns and is "painful" when I lift, but my brain knows that that pain means I am making strength gains so it helps me to push through it. If my quads don't burn when I am doing leg extensions then I do not have enough weight on the machine. Your brain is trained at the same time your body is trained and I like to think that that also helps away from the gym and teaches me discipline in other parts of my life.

Finally, I love a challenge. I love working hard and seeing the results of that work. I have always been a very physical person and like to do things that require me to use my body as opposed to using just my mind. I love pushing myself to see if I can do just 1 more rep or if I can go up 5 pounds on a particular lift. It is incredibly satisfying to see muscle growth and to know that my hard work caused that to happen. Overtime, you start to push yourself in ways that you never expected to and you are able to do things you never knew if you could do.

Because of genetics and my body type, my upper body has always been considerably weaker than my lower body. I always felt disporportiante and when I looked in the mirror and I used to think that was just how I was and there was really nothing I can do about it. I didn't neglect that area however, I basically just didn't have high hopes of achieving much success. Overtime though I began to notice a little more definition and then I noticed a little more bulk and even though I still want to improve that area, I have acheieved strength gains there I didnt expect and feel a lot more porportinate now. I am not bringing this up to brag, just to point out that the act of challenging yourself in any area of life, can help you acheive things you didn't really think were possible and opens your eyes to possibilities you may not have seen before.

For all of those reasons, I am "obsessed" with working out. Sometimes I feel it is a no win situation for me. A few years ago when I was running a lot and not weight training as much everyone thought I was too skinny and looked unhealthy. I do the work to gain muscle and look and be more healthy and now I am obsessed. I know that my eating and exercise habits although more extreme than most but they are healthy and I feel good about how I look. If you still want to label me as a nut job then ok, thats fine. I just don't want the incorrect assumption that I am torturing myself just so I can fit into a size 2 to go unaddressed. The person I had that conversation with that caused me to write this doesn't read my blog but I feel a lot better just getting it off my chest.

I Need This!

I have an emormous love of Mexican food. In the summer I probably make tacos or burritos at least a couple of times a week and I could easily eat fresh salsa on a daily basis. One of my favorite ingredients in any mexican dish is avacado, which I also love to put on sandwiches in lieu of mayo.

Unfortunately my relationship with avacados is love/hate. Living alone it is hard to eat an entire avacado and I usually only eat just half of it. Anyone who has ever dealt with avacados knows how quickly they get brown and gross though so I usually end up throwing out the other half. Until now.

Allow me to introduce you to the Avo Saver:

It reduces a cut avocado's exposure to air, greatly slowing the destructive oxidization process saving money, time and aggravation.

I am so getting this.

March Madness!

The big tournament is quickly approaching which begs the question, who is in for the pool this year? As always there will be a small buy in (suggestions as to how much the buy in should be?) and there will again be the prize for the biggest loser. Last year we awarded the winner by the most overall wins but if there is another way people would like to do it, just let me know.

The bracket selection takes place on Sunday, March 15th and the opening round game is on March 17th, so I would need your brackets by then.

The Final Four takes place on April 4th and 6th also so if anyone wants to host a viewing party, that would be super!

Leave your feedback and express your interest in the comments please:)

The Good News: The time changed so it is still light out at 7! I just feel so much more productive and happy when there is daylight later into the day, I love the sun.

The Bad News: It is still butt ass cold at night. What is that about anyway? I do not enjoy being cold and I am dying for some warmer weather. I get it, colder weather helps you appreciate the warmer weather more blah blah, just warm up already.

That is all for now. Carry on.

Interval Training Re-visited

So a couple of weeks ago I posted on the benefits of doing cardio intervals as opposed to the steady burn long cardio workouts. Basically I am just pating myself on the back here (which I can do quite well now that I have been stretching again)but one of my favorite fitness blogs had a post about that very same thing:

Here’s the details of the study: Researchers had three groups of overweight women ages 18-30. One group exercised for 40 minutes at 60 percent of peak oxygen uptake (yeah yeah, it’s all V02, but if that means nothing to you it’s probably good enough to know they were exercising at a steady but not super-super easy state and built up to 40 minute sessions.) The second group did 8 seconds of high intensity work followed by 12 seconds of relative rest for 20 minutes. These two groups worked out on spin bikes for 15 weeks. The third group was the control, a.k.a. the “feel free to just sit on your ass” group. No dietary changes were made for any group

And the results of the study are, you guessed it, the high-intensity group was the only group that showed significant reductions in fat mass, total body mass, belly fat and fasting insulin levels. The very best part though is that this can be accomplished in 20 minutes as opposed to 40 or more. So next time you think you don't have the time to get a good workout in, your excuse is no longer valid. Get your ass in the gym or outside and up your intensity level for a measely 20 minutes. That isn't even the lenght of time it would take to watch an episode of The Soup!

I did an interval workout last night on the stair stepper (which I secretly love now, somethng very retro and also really difficult about that machine) and even though I only stayed on for 30 minutes I was drenched in sweat, more so then when I ride the bike steady for twice as long, and I like to think my ass and quads are a little tighter. There is something about being completely exhausted and dripping with sweat after a workout that is incredibly satisfying. I can think of other times that outcome is also very satisfying but I am on a hiatus from that so I will just focus on interval training for now:)

English Fail

A very sweet hispanic woman gave this to me outside of my apartment the other day. I didn't look closely at it until just now. To be fair it doesn't say speak english and spanish well. She appearantly does a great job though, my neighbor reccomended her so if you need someone to clean your place, give her a call.

Free Credit Report.Com Sucks

I have always loathed their commercials but they must be effective because when I wanted to check my credit, that is the first and only source that I could think of to use. They do give you your credit report for free but not very suprisingly charge you 14.95 a month to monitor your credit for you if you haven't cancelled your membership within 9 days. Our internet was down all day at work yesterday so I didn't get around to trying to cancel it until today. After searching fruitlessly for 5 minutes for the place you could cancel your membership online, I gave up and called them. I was then put on hold and oddly the music they had playing was the wedding march. Weird. Anyway I finally get someone on the phone and it is about another 10 minute ordeal of answering questions and then (3) different shpeals on why I shouldn't cancel, how I could get a discounted service instead and only pay 4.95 and the new services they are offering.

I try to never get mad at the people on the phone because I know they are just reading the script they are given and they are just doing their jobs, but my god is it annoying. The fact that you can't even cancel your membership online is BS because it so obviously is done that way in hopes that people will postpone cancelling because it is a hassle and then forget and incur the cost.

In the end I got it cancelled though and my credit is good so alls well that ends well I suppose.

My Personal Trainer is Fat?

A Personal Trainer in Austraila is purposely gaining weight in order to better understand what his overweight clients go through in their quest to lose weight and get fit. The 32-year-old former underwear model has ballooned from about 180 pounds to 233 since last month. He has given himself until the end of March to get to his goal of 265 pounds, a weight he intends to keep for a few months. Once there he will start training to take the weight off, most likely sometime in July, and plans to take a few of his clients with him so they can lose the weight together.

What prompted this rather drastic action was his inability to understand why some of his clients skip classes and have such a hard time getting to the gym. He figured that in order to better understand where they were coming from he would become them. So after loading up on doughnuts, fried chocolate bars, pizza, and pasta with creamy sauces his clothes no longer fit, he is noticebly fatter, his blood pressure has risen slightly and he reports being more lethargic and having a hard time motivating himself to do anything.

He is also getting a lot of criticism saying that what he is doing is dangerous and that he is merely seeking attention. I am not convinced about how dangerous this really is. Obviously your body will go through negative health consequences but it is so short term that there is nothing that couldn't be reversed and he has no risk of becoming diabetic over that length of time. Perhaps he is seeking attention but I also think you can't really understand where another person is coming from unless you walk in their shoes, even if it is for just a little while.

Personal trainers should be role models for their clients but I feel there is insight to be gained by understanding how life is different in the skin of someone who is overweight. It is easy to tell clients to exercise but if you have 60 pounds of fat on you, exercise isn't as easy as it would be if you didn't have that excess weight. I also think that people respond better to someone who they feel understands them. There can be a major disconnect between people who have been fit and healthy their whole lives and those who have developed unhealthy habits over time. It may not be the eaxct same situation (obviously it doesn't address the emotional reasons people overeat etc)but knowing that the person who is telling you to do 10 more pushups has been there may be helpful or at the very least give them one less excuse.

I admire his dedication, I don't think I would ever be willing to gain 85 pounds just to see what it is like. I wish he had a blog, it would be interesting to hear how his weight loss goes and what insights he may gain from going through this.

Been Sick

So I haven't posted in a week because I had a head cold/allergies simultaneously and have felt like shit so I have been sleeping, a lot. Fortunately they have also been doing construction on the apartment downstairs and with the paper thin walls have felt like I was trying to sleep in the middle of the job site. Thank god for sleeping pills. I am feeling a lot better though and now it is just allergies which I can deal with.

So just to let you all know that I am still alive, I give you dog sleepwalking:

Bizkit, the Sleepwalking Dog @ Yahoo! Video

So does the same judgements we make towards humans and their alcohol consumption hold true for cats?? :)


I would totally hang out with both these cats.

Well I guess I had that coming...

After my last post about how important sleep is and how I am not going out in order to get my sleep, I got virtually no sleep last night thanks to the Fat Tuesday celebrators a.k.a. amateurs. Although I am quite glad I wasn't out amongst all of those people I was woken up about every 20 minutes from the hours of 10 to 2:30.

If it wasn't loud drunk idiots walking to their cars it was a hellicoptor or a siren or a stereo blasting or a harley breaking the sound barrier in front of my apartment. The drunk idiots are by far the most annoying of the bunch. I have never heard so many person yell "WOOO!!!" for no apparant reason. And that is how you know it is amateur night, what experienced drinker yells wooo? None of them do. I know.

Of course it doesnt help that my windows are from the 50's and offer virtually no sound barrier and that there seems to be some crazy amplification around my apartment. I swear that I heard someone talking on their cell phone and I could hear the person on the phone. Granted I couldn't make out what the other person was saying but still, that is ridiculous.

I looked at my calendar and it appears that St. Patrick's day is on a Tuesday this year as well so I will need to get some heavy duty ear plugs before then.

So I hope everyone who woke me up last night had fun, that they all have bags under their eyes as big as I do and that they are incredibly hungover today.

I need to move somewhere quieter, I am getting too old and cranky for this.

My justification for not going out during the week

We all know that sleep is important, but in more ways than you might think. Several studies have recently shown links between sleep and weight that is pretty fascinating. Researchers say that how much you sleep and quite possibility the quality of your sleep may effect the hormonal activity that is tied to your appetite.

The hormons leptin and ghrelin work in a kind of "checks and balances" system to control feelings of hunger and fullness. Ghrelin, which is produced in the gastrointestinal tract, stimulates appetite, while leptin, produced in fat cells, sends a signal to the brain when you are full. When you’re sleep deprived, your ghrelin levels increase at the same time that your leptin levels decrease. The result is an increased craving for food and not feeling full.

A Stanford study had 1,000 volunteers report the number of hours they slept each night. Doctors then measured their levels of ghrelin and leptin, as well as charted their weight. The result was those who slept less than eight hours a night not only had lower levels of leptin and higher levels of ghrelin, but they also had a higher level of body fat. What's more, that level of body fat seemed to correlate with their sleep patterns. Specifically, those who slept the fewest hours per night weighed the most.

The optimal amount of sleep each night is 7-9 hours. I get a solid 8 hours of sleep every night and since I have started doing that consistently I have felt a lot better. I am energetic throughout the day and I seldom have a lot of strong cravings for food. I have enough energy to get through a hard workout and I even feel like lately I have had enough energy to make dinner when I get home at night (smoky corn and black bean pizza is on the menu tonight!).

Sleep however is not a magical weight loss panacea. You also have to have a healthy diet (which is easier to stick with when you get enough sleep) and of course exercise (at least 50 minutes 3 times a week).

So not going out on Wednesdays is not only good for my mood the next day, it is also good for my health and fitness and waistline. A good excuse for loving going to sleep at 10 PM every night.

Crotch Sweat

Yesterday while I was working out I was noticebly sweatier than usual. I change my workout every 4 weeks so yesterday was the start of a new program. I was primarily doing my lower body workout but since it was brand spanking new, it was more challenging than usual. I was doing squats, presses, lunges, deadlifts etc., all (4) sets and all to failure for the last set. Bottom line, I was not glistening but sweating my ass off.

I usually wear black spandex pants when I workout but yesterday I went with a pair of navy blue cotton blend type pants that were as tight as spandex but not so much moisture wicking. I was doing leg extensions when I saw it, the dreaded crotch sweat. Arghh! I do not like walking around looking like I peed my pants nor do I want people to think about my crotch being sweaty. My crotch is just one of those things that I don't want people pondering. We all know it is there but I don't want to call attention to it.

It was near the end of my workout, but I still had cardio to do. I contemplated tying my towel around the front of my waist like a waiter but decided this would bring about the same amount of unwanted attention as the crotch sweat. I quickly and reluctantly realized there was nothing I could do and I just had to walk around sporting my crotch sweat as proudly as I could (crotch sweat means you are working really hard right?) My knees were even sweating through the material at this point. I didn't even know knees could sweat!

So I did my half hour of cardio and didn't pay any attention to it until I got home and saw that not only were my crotch and knees sweaty but so was my ass. Yup, I was even sporting the god damn ass sweat too.

Lesson learned, never wear anything but black pants OR if I do wear a different color, make sure it is that high performance moisture wicking material otherwise I risk being known as the sweaty crotch girl.

I guess we aren't the only ones who are curious about anal bleaching.

She seems to be a little more than just curious though. Hopefully she can fit it in between picking up Joey from pre school and studying for midterms.

Thanks Found Magazine!

I know I am a day late with this but The Obama's hosted their first state dinner Sunday night and I have to say, they look better than anyone did at the Oscars. Brad and Angelina, eat your hearts out, these may be the only two people in the world that are more stylish and cool than they are (not to mention they are the President and First Lady of the free world).

I find it very refreshing that we have such new and different leadership in our country and as a bonus they both have suave and sophisticated personal style. I really love that dress, she looks stunning.

I want to go backpaking, who is with me?

I had a dream last night about hiking in the Sierras, I really did. I could practically smell the pine trees and mountain air it was such a vivid dream. When I woke up I felt sad because I realized how long it has been since I have gone hiking or camping and I have never been backpacking on any overnight trips.

The dream was spurred because I watched Nature on PBS last night and they had a show on wolves in Yellowstone. The vistas and mountains they showed were gorgeous. I forget too quickly sometimes how wonderful it feels to be outside in the vast spaces of wilderness, to breathe and smell clean air, the quiet, and the night sky that is filled with bright stars. I really do love being up there.

So I would really really like to plan a backpacking or at the very least a camping trip this summer. If you are interested let me know and we can actually sit down soon and plan something in advance with maps and trails and everything instead of saying yes lets and then never talking about it again.

Who is in?

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button Being the Same Exact Movie as Forest Gump

I was talking about this on Friday night so here is the video showing how The Curious Case of Benjamin Button and Forest Gump are the pretty much the same movie in regard to the plot. They make a pretty strong case. That coupled with the fact that Benjamin Button is like 8 hours long, I have a feeling I will never watch this movie.

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

F*** MY Life!

You know those days where you think, you have got to be kidding me, is this really my life? Well a lot of people do, so if you want to feel better about your life by reading about he effed up crap that happens to other people or if you just feel like commeserating with others, check out F*** My Life.

When you read such gems as "Today, I told my long-distance girlfriend that I just could not handle the distance and we should just be friends. To which she responded, 'What? You thought we were going out? Lol'. FML", you just can't help but feel bad for the guy but more importantly you also think, "glad that wasn't me!" or "That happened to someone else too??". Either way, you feel better.

I also think I am going to use FML more frequently in my own posts.

eharmony is time consuming

After filling out a painstaking long survey about myself I hae already been rejected by 5 people because I didn't have a picture posted yet. Note to anyone who is going to do eharmony, have the pictures ready to go before you sign up. I even wrote in my profile that I would have a picture posted soon but I guess 2 days isn't quick enough. I just don't have pictures of me anywhere because I dont take pictures very often and I didn't want to take pictures of myself at work and by the time I get home I am all gross and sweaty from the gym and don't feel like cleaning up and getting ready for a stupid photo. Anyway I got one up and poted now but I feel like I need more so if you have any pictures of me anywhere (preferably flattering) I would appreciate you sending them to me so I don't have to take more lame ass pictures of myself.

I have been sent a good number of matches but I am sure you will not be suprised to find that the ones I want to communicate with are all from the bay area or the LA area (my search area is 300 miles). All of my matches from Fresno are not at all exciting. I swear there have to be some cool, attractive, interesting people in Fresno but they apparantly don't need to date online. When I lived in Austin I would look at the guys on Match.com and there were a ton of good men. Don't believe me, try searching for guys in Fresno and then try a metropolitan area and see what a drastic difference there is in the quality of men. Obviously I don't expect there to be as many quality men in Fresno based on the fact that there are simply less men here, but c'mon on just 1 or 2??

Back to it being time consuming though, I guess one of the good things is that they get your feedback on every match so they can further determine what you like and don't like, but it takes time to fill that info out and then you also have to send your match a Closed Message telling them why you don't want to communicate with them. The ones you do want to communicate with you send 5 questions to and wait for them to respond. That is where I am right now, waiting for responses. Good thing I signed up for 3 months because this is going to take awhile.

The Economy Sucks But You Can Get Good Deals

I like to eat. I like to eat out at restaurants because I hate doing dishes. I don't however make enough money to go out regularly so when I come across a website that offers gift certificates to local restaurants at a discounted price, I get a little giddy.

Restaurant.com lets you search by city or zip code and then you can go through the list of restaurants and buy discounted gift certificates. The most common is a $25 gift certificate that you can purchase for $10 and you usually have to spend a minimum of $35 on food for it to be valid. Some of the restaurants listed of note in Fresno are:
-Max's Bistro
-Livingstone's
-Samba
-Sal's
-Thaiphoon
-Landmark
-Sante Fe Basque
-Dai Bai Dang

Not a bad deal if you are going to be dining with other people since it is pretty easy to spend $35 in a group.

Versus

Blueberry Crisp Clif Bar VERSUS

Bluerberry Muffins


Are you a blueberry muffin fan? Personally I don't prefer very sweet bakery items for breakfast but every once in awhile will have one because I love blueberries. One of my favorite mid morning snacks however is a cup of black coffee with a splash of hazlenut creamer and a Blueberry Crisp Clif Energy bar. It is actually pretty suprising how similar the clif bar tastes compared to a muffin, the big difference is the texture. It also saves calories and has more dietary fiber and protein than a standard blueberry muffin.

For example if you get a Reduced Fat Blueberry Muffin at Starbucks you will be consuming 420 calories, 20 grams of fat (yowzer!), 5 grams of protien and 1 gram of fiber. If you eat a Blueberry Crisp Clif Bar however you will be consuming 240 calories, 5 grams of fat, 9 grams of protein and 5 grams of fiber. Much better for you and clif bars are easy to tote around. A note of caution however clif bars can contain more sugar and carbs then you might think so just be aware of that.

A difference of 180 calories may not seem like much but keep in mind that it only takes 3,500 calories to gain a pound and making that small difference can really add up so your weight doesnt. If you make this substitution 1 day a week for an entire year you will have consumed 8,640 fewer calories by eating the clif bar.

Don't get me wrong, if you love a hot muffin out of the oven with melted butter I totally get it, the smell alone is divine. Just save that for every once in awhile and in between times give the substitution a shot.

I absolutely HATE it when my dad tells me that he asked me to do something when he didn't. No dad you did not say you needed a list of the subs that have not returned close out documents yesterday. You said you would like to have those documents all submitted this week so don't give me that look like I screwed up because YOU DIDN"T ASK FOR IT. And also no one told me that we had Monday off and the only reason I knew was because I overheard you talking to someone on the phone so maybe, just maybe, you could work on your communication skills. Just a thought.

I have gone and done it

Anyone who reads this blog (all 6 or 7 of you) knows that I am not very lucky in love. I don't date very often and the few dates I have been on in the past year have been at the very least unmemorable bores. Anyone who is single knows the difficulty of meeting new people and I have personally grown tired of thinking that someday I will turn a corner and a fantastic man will just magically come into my life. Riiight. I am not the most outgoing person or uber friendly person when you first meet me and I could speculate endlessly about why guys very seldom approach me or even seem interested but frankly I think it is time for me to be more pro-active and thus have gone and signed up for eharmony.

Why the public announcement you ask? Well I often get accused of being secretive (understandably)so I thought I would change things up and just be open and honest about the whole process. Besides I can pretty much guarantee there will be some funny material coming out of this (like when I spend half an hour filling out a questionnaire about myself and when I am done click "find matches" and the message that comes up says "Our matching system was not able to find any new matches for you right now"). My love life is usually a comedy.

Why eharmony and not match or one of the gazilion other dating sites? Well with eharmony you do the work up front and then for 3 months they will do the rest of the work for me and present me with matches. Let's be honest I kinda dig having men delivered to me. There is also a bit more seriousness with eharmony. I am not looking to hook up or date a 22 year old but I want to have a solid relationship. For the first time in my life I feel really comfortable with who I am and I have accepted myself flaws and all. I like who I am and I am confident and content so it feels like a good time to look for someone.

So with all of that being asaid, let the adventures in eharmony commence! Check back for updates on what dating is like in 2009 for all of you old married people out there.

You Know When You Work in an Old Person Office is When...

..the calculators are bigger than your head, literally. I am holding this up right next to my face, no camera tricks or photoshopping here. Just senile co-workers who refuse to wear reading glasses and instead buy the most ginormous calculators possible. Sigh.


**Update** I don't know if this looks any less like a camera trick but my face is pressed against the calculator in this picture.

Chain restaurants in NYC with 15+ locations have been required to post calorie counts for a while now, and other cities and states are following suit, including California. The debate has been whether or not this blatant "calories in your face" approach will work or will people just ignore it.

A new survey out has answered that question and the great news is that it indeed affects the way people are eating:

Technomic found that 86 percent of New York City restaurant-goers were surprised by the calorie count information now listed on menus or menu boards, with 90 percent of them claiming that the calorie count was higher than expected. As a consequence, 82 percent say that calorie disclosure is affecting what they order and 60 percent say it is affecting where they visit. The researchers also found evidence that suggests a high level of consumer support for mandated disclosure of fat and sodium content in restaurant foods.

It is not suprising to me that 90% of consumers didn't realize how many calories some of the menu items contained, when you dont know exactly what is in something or how it is prepared calories can really add up without you being aware of it. The survey also found that consumers are increasingly wanting more healthy menu options. Hopefully this is the catalyst the restaraunt industry needs to focus more on nutrition. They can still have those ridiculous 2,000 calorie oreo cookie shakes, but they should also have healthy menu items to chose from as well.

And speaking of calorie counts on menus, you still have to search to find that information in California, but the folks from Eat this, Not That have helped with their list of meals you can get at fast food restaraunts for under 500 calories. Good to know when you are rushed for time, don't have much money and don't want your waistband expanding.

I see A LOT of T&A

I go to a naked gym. Everytime I am in the locker room there is a naked lady wandering around. You may be thinking well it is a locker room but in general the locker rooms I have been in the past, the nakedness only happens when women are changing into or out of their gym clothes. These women walk around chatting, wash their hands at the sink or going to the bathroom buck ass neked. They also don't seem to be much into personal grooming (and I am just going to leve it at that, you are welcome).

I am not really bothered by it, but it can be a little jaring to walk in and look up and see a 60 year old overweight naked woman putting lotion on. This also usually happens around my locker so I have to manuver very carefully around them. For some reason only the old and overweight women are the ones who seem to do this too. Although I commend them for the confidence to not give an eff, I think I would rather see a hot naked chick than an old fat one.

Last week I posted about rude groccery shoppers at Win-Co. To be fair to that establishment I feel I should add an addendum to that post.

Today at Trader Joe's an older man on his cell phone stepped in front of me when I was looking at the snacks. He stood there a good 30 seconds while I stood there patiently smirking (I was in a better mood because Trader Joe's gives away free samples and coffe)and he finally picked up a bag of organic cheese popcorn. He then moved on and I was able to see what was there and as I was reaching for the pita chips he walked right in front of me again, on his cell phone so he doesn't say excuse me and I had to move back to keep him from running into me.

Just another case of people being so self absorbed that they pay no attention to the people around them. I don't know this bothers me but maybe I am hyper aware of everyone around me because of the way I was raised, I was a super polite child. This guy was probably raised during the depression so he had to look out for himself hence the self absorption. Just a theory. A rather undeveloped and weak theory but a theory nonetheless.

If there is such a thing as divine intervention I think that it is in cases like this where god truly intervenes because even he would find this disgusting.

Interval Training

Since my marathon I have been progressively neglecting my cardio. I have been doing about 30-45 minutes on the bike about 3 times a week and I am in a rut. I dread doing cardio now because I find it boring since I have narrowed it down to one form of cardio. I seriously pitch an internal hissy fit with noticeable pouting when I am done with my strength training and I know I have to do cardio next. I know that running would be more challenging cardiovascularly but with my foot giving me problems and the anti runnning stance I always seem to embrace for months after races I havent been able to bring myself to climb on the dreadmill very much. The ellpitical is an option too but it is not as effecient at burning calories and I feel silly on those things anyway (for some reason in mind I am thinking "weee! Look at me go!" which is distracting).

I have done versions of interval training before and have found them to be challenging since you are constantly varying your speed and effort. Time seems to go by more quickly which is excellent when some ass clown changes the tv to Fox News and then blasts it so he can hear it from the back where he is doing the elliptical. I so gave that guy the death stare the rest of my workout. So anyway I did a little more research into interval training and there are many different varieties of interval workouts you can do (sweet!)but they all basically offer the same benefits.

Workouts that alternate high-intensity levels with lower intensity levels help you burn calories long after you have stopped workoing out (much like strength training does). It seems the more you shake up your body during the workout, the more energy your body expends getting your body back to normal after the workout. Longer sessions of a moderate and consistent pace do not challenge your body like bouts of high intensity work will. Your body will become very effecient at doing this type of exercise and effeciency in exercise is actually a really bad thing because it means you will burn less calories.

Also interval training works regardless of fitness level and, by increasing your intensity for short periods of time, you teach your body how to work harder without killing yourself. These workouts can last a minimum of 20 minutes and burn more fat than longer slower workouts can so it saves time, woo hoo! In addition you can do intervals with any type of cardiovascualr exercise -- running, cycling, swimming, stair master, elliptical, hell even roller blading if you feel like channeling your inner 90's child. This works well because you can vary what type of cardio you do and since you will only be doing it for a condensed amount of time you are less likely to become bored.

As I said before these type of workouts can be done in any variety of different ways too. When I was training for the marathon I would run at a 6.0 for 4 minutes, 6.5 for 2 minutes, 7.0 for 2 minutes back down to a 65 for 2 more minutes and repeat for 7 miles. It helps to focus on 2 to 4 minutes at a time then to think about in terms of the total amount of time you are running. It can also be as simple as 1 minutes moderate pace followed by 1 minute high intensity pace and repeat for the specified amount of time. Be sure to warm up for 4-5minutes before you start any high burts of intensity. They usually reccomend cooling down too but to be honest I usually skip that and use that time to stretch a little more. Also it is best to do interval workouts only 1 or 2 times per week or you might burn yourself out and have a higher chance of injury.

I am going to try to Great Pyramids Interval myself and see how that goes. This pyramid structure allows you to start with short bursts of speed, and then you’ll peak at the longest surge of energy in the middle of your workout before coming back down.

3 to 5 minutes warmup

30 seconds high intensity

1 minute low intensity

45 seconds high intensity

1 minute low intensity

1 minute high intensity

1 minute low intensity

90 seconds high intensity

1 minute low intensity

1 minute high intensity

1 minute low intensity

45 seconds high intensity

1 minute low intensity

30 seconds high intensity

3 to 5 minutes cooldown

If you are looking for a more effecient, less boring, less time consuming and aren't afraid of getting sweaty then ou should try interval training. Just don't neglect your weight training!

Happy Valentines Day!

Yes I know it is actually tomorrow but it looks like everyone is out of town and I don't post on Saturdays anyway so Happy Valntines Day in advance. Take a moment to appreciate the loved ones in your life for who they are and how they make your life happier. Hugs and kisses to all of you guys:)

UNDER CONSTRUCTION

It is not quite right and I dont have time to fix it right now.

I get random bruises all of the time. I am starting to think that I may be a sleepwalker, and a clumbsy one at that. For example the bruise I discovered near the knuckle of my middle finger:

I mean really, how did I get a bruise there?? I also found one on the back of my calf last week and frequently find them on various spots on my arms and legs with absolutely no memory of bumping into anything. And it seems like when I do run into something I and think it is going to leave a nasty bruise nothing much comes of it. Weird.

I Love Nuts

No, not those nuts, dez nuts:

It's true, they are a fantastically good food that I enjoy a bit too much sometimes but they are delicious in every form. Eating them raw, toasted, throwing them in salads or in wraps, adding them to oatmeal, on green beans...there really is no end to how to incorporate nuts into your diet and in general they are really good for you.

Over the past decade or so studies have shown that eating nuts protects against heart disease, high blood pressure, and adult-onset diabetes yada yada. Sounds good but to be honest I only really eat them because they taste good and when eaten correctly can help keep pounds off and any food that tastes good AND helps me from gaining fat gets an A plus in my book.

Serving sizes for nuts have always confused me, mostly because I ever bothered to learn what an ounce really is but thanks to the internet I don't have to know because it will tell me in a way that is easy for me to understand. 12 nuts compared to an ounce of nuts just makes a lot more sense to me!

Here is a link to the breakdown of good nuts, calorie count and serving size to reference. Or if you are a visual learner (like me) try this link.

The New and Not so Exciting Me

For awhile now I have obviously been very into fitness. When I think about the highlight of my day it is going to the gym and getting a hard work out in. I love that way it makes me feel both physically and mentally, it just takes me to a happy place. This is not news to any of you who read my blog however as I frequently post about this topic.

For awhile now I have also been thinking of getting my certification as a personal trainer. I even ordered the study materials and read several chapters but somewhere along the way I got distracted and didn't set aside enough time to really study the way I needed to. Then the economy took a nose dive and I got it into my head that it would be difficult to find work as a PT because people would cut out going to the gym and training as an unneccesary expense. So I kept reading various magazines and studies to further my own personal knowledge about the subject but stopped officially studying. In the back of my mind though I kept thinking that training could be something I can do that I would be passionate about.

The last couple of weeks I have had several people at the gym approach me for advice or to ask me about a particular exercise I was doing which has suprised and really flattered me. It makes me feel like I must at least appear knowledgable and since I have also felt I have made strength gains over the past few months, I guess I must know what I am doing for the most part. It has re-motivated me to start studying again and to get my certification, especially when I read that the job outlook for personal trainers is very high with a proposed 50% growth rate in the next decade thanks to the growing obesity epedemic as well as aging baby boomers wanting to stave off aging.

I hate sitting at a desk all day, I do not mind early mornings, I like variety in my work day, I have always enjoyed teaching and coaching, and I love fitness so this may be something I can do that will make me really happy. I may never be a trainer full time but I can try to do it part time for some extra income and see what happens. So in a few months if you want to hire me to get your butt in shape, let me know, I will give you a really good deal and it will help me gain some experience.

In relation to that, I am also going to need to make some changes in other parts of my life, mainly the going out part. I know I haven't been around as much lately anyway, but one thing I probably wont do any much more of is Wednesday nights. I have realized lately how much I need that 8 hours of sleep every night and even just one day a week of a lack of sleep effects me negatively. I will still go out weekends, but it will be a more mellow version of Kasey which means less cocktails and calling it a night a little earlier. All of this so I can be more productive during the day and get more accomplished, like studying and getting good productive workouts in etc. It just helps me to have a healthy lifestyle that is consistent with the lifestyles I would promote with any future clients I may have so I dont feel like a hypocrite.

So anyway thats where my head has been lately.

Fuck You, Penguin Takes on The Lemur

I found this post pretty funny so I thought I would re-post it for all of you non Fuck You, Penguin readers:

Clearly, lemurs have zero personality

I don't know about you people, but it is incredibly easy for me to tell the difference between my mother and a teddy bear. This lemur, however, cannot seem to figure out that this is not his mother. Hasn't the lemur figured out that the teddy bear hasn't moved in, like, ever? Conclusion: hanging out with a lemur is like hanging out with a stuffed animal.

The other alternative, of course, is that this lemur is a fucking idiot. The mother realized this at some point, and while her dumbass kid was sleeping one night, she quietly slipped out of the baby lemur's arms and replaced herself with a teddy bear so she could go start a new, better family. I actually hope this is true, and that lemurs in general aren't totally lame, because I expect this sort of thing from hedgehogs (boo-ring), but lemurs really ought to know better.

I heart this blog:)

Rules to Grocery Shop By

I had another frustrating trip to the Win-Co today which has inspired me to write down the rules of common curtesy and respect you should abide by when grocery shopping. They are as follows in no particular order:

1. To all the Moms out there, I know your job is not easy and I recognize that you are probably tired and sleep deprived as you make your way through the grocery store but this is not the time to neglect raising your children with manners. Maybe your kids are running around the store, yelling and throwing things at each other, really having a good time while everyone else is completely annoyed, partciularly that man who had to shout at your son to get him to move out of his way because he wasn't paying attention right before he knocked the tortillas off the shelf. Or maybe for no reason you are simply watching while your son is opening and closing every door in the frozen food section preventing everyone from getting to their Lean Cusines that they need.

I know kids are not always easy to tame but give it a shot and you might raise children who are polite and pay attention to the people around them.

2. For fucks sake do not take up the whole damn aisle with your shopping cart while you look for the best deal on green beans. Those aisles are narrow enough (especially with unruly brats running around) and when 3 different people have to say excuse me to get past you, you might want to re-think your aisle positioning. See it works like the road does, stay to your right and you have the middle of the aisle to pass you if you have stopped or are being slow. Do not go up the aisle on your left and make everyone ove around you. The key here is to be aware of other people and not just yourself.

3. We are a country that enjoys their personaly space, myself especially, and when that space is violated we don't really like it (at least I don't). So to the couple behind me in the checkout line, back away slowly and I won't get crazy. When I got in line I waited politely for the woman in front of me to load all her grocceries onto the belt while I made faces at her young son who was sitting in the cart eating a chocolate bar with half of it not making it to his mouth but smearing over his chubby cheeks. When she was done I started loading my groceries. The woman stands there and keeps doing the annoyed sigh thing, starts going to another line and then quickly returns and starts taping her foot, yup she was taping her mother effing foot while her and her husband stared me down. I was not taking my sweet ass time or anything but apparently I needed to be a little speedier.

When I am done loading I stand next to the atm thing to pay and the couple loads their grocceries (yeah it doesnt take as long when you have two people doing it does it?). The man then proceedes to stand 2 inches away from me while I wait for her to finish ringing me up. I shot him a look like why the hell are you so close to me right now, back away, back away, back away. It didnt register with him and he continued to breathe down my neck.

That incident was preceeded by the woman who came and stood right in front of me when I was deciding what flavored Tofu to try. Words dont do this story justice, you really need a visual, but lets just say there was no room for her there and I had to wait until she was done to get my Tofu (I went with Teriyaki btw).

(At this point I would like to thank blogger for not automatically saving my post and making me write everything again from here on)

4. If you are going to talk on your cell phone while at the grocery store I have no problems with you unless you become that person who suddenly loses his ability to stand up and drapes themselves over their cart and distractidly starts walking around the grocery store in s..l..o..w m..o..t..i..o..n, unaware of anything going on around you. Um while you were talking about what your boyfriend is doing for you for Valentines Day, which by the way sounds super duper exciting, I havent been able to pick up up my box of oatmeal because you are directly in the way and dont seem to notice. If you can handle multi tasking by all means go for it but when one activity causes you do perform another activity at the speed of a turtle with a broken leg, multi tasking may not be your thing and you should focus on one thing at a time.

Bottom line there is no reason for people to not be polite to strangers. For whatever reason I find the customers at Win Co to be more rude and oblivious then at other grocery stores, although just last week I had another close stander in line at Target. In any case common curtesy makes everyones day more pleasant, even if you are just going to pick up a few groceries.

Ahh Craigslist

I was browsing the part time jobs on Craigslist and came across this ad that made me laugh:

Hi I am new to Fresno,
I am looking to hire a driver to get me around from now and then.
I will pay between $5. - $20. depending on the trip. I am also 420 friendly.
Driver and car must be clean, reliable and on time.
I am not just looking for someone to drive me around but I am also looking for someone I can call a friend.
Call me at (406)794-2992 no emails please.
Thanks, Jeremy

I am not quite that desperate for money. Or friends. At least right ow.

Another Ad:
I have two teenage kittens,, they are approx. 7 months old...

I have never heard the term teenage kitten, can you be both? I didnt htink cats could be teenagers anyway but maybe I am wrong.

You know what would be nice? Having a pleasant conversation with someone at work. I come into work most days with a pleasant demeanor but as the day goes on that changes to me isolating myself in my office and being in my own little world because everyone else is in a bad mood or just ignoring each other.

My mother is the worst offender, if she is on a bad mood she will say "shut up" to the phone everytime it rings and keeps saying things like he wants to be home and hates being here. Well guess what, that negativity rubs off on everyone else. I try to just ignore it as does everyone else but I hate to bite my tongue to not tell her to get over it, no one really loves being here but why dwell on it?

Earlier today I tried talking to my mom about some current event, just chatting, and she mumbled a response that meant she wasnt at all listening and then snapped at me for no reason. Everyone here just does their work and ignores other people unless they need them for something and it is draining emotionally. We spend 8 hours a day here and we cant say good morning and chat for 5 minutes? I dont know what I can do to fix this. If I try to talk I usually get shut down and it makes me feel like not bothering at all. It is worse right now because we have a stressful couple of weeks with bids and end of the year tax stuff but how can you ask people to be more friendly and happy?

My mom just came in and apologized for snapping actually, but the problem still remains. My mom and I both recongize how negative and unhappy the mood in the office is but still have no way to solve it. Maybe I should make some pot brownies and pass them around. Lord knows they love to eat dessert around here.

I have a confession. I just had to look up "Twitter" in Wikipedia because I had no idea what it was but kept hearing about it and I was embarassed to ask someone. And yes the cat is out of the bag now but at least I didnt have to see the face of whoever I asked laughing at me.

Working with an older generation I often see their reluctance to learn new tchnologies. Just yesterday I had to explain to both my mom and Susan that you can have more than (1) attachement on an email. As if that wasn't bad enough my dad doesnt even check his own email (although he could, he just choses not to) and Tenn has never used a computer in his life which is just crazy to me.

I can't help but fear that this is my fate too. Just a few weeks ago I finally got an adapter to play my ipod in my truck, it should have never taken me that long, that is just ridiculous. I don't want to live in the dark age and become one of those people that refuse to try new tchnologies because they think they are going to be too complicated. On the otherhand I really dont think I want to Twitter or even get on facebook because I dont find it neccessary to let everyone I know everything that I am doing at every moment of the day, I am just not that exciting. I also dont want to hear what anyone else is doing at any given moment, you arent that exciting either. I think too many people are starting to feel too self important anyway, but I digress.

For the moment I will stick to text messaging, blogging and emails and I will use wikipedia to look up everything I dont know on the sly. At least I know about wikipedia!

Now That I am Shopping Again...

Yes, my month of deprivation is over! One thing I learned from this experience is that indeed I can control myself but more importantly I learned the method of controlling myself which is not white knuckling it but to simply avoid websites, magazines and the Target clothing department. If I am not bombarded with images of clothes and shoes then I do not feel the need to shop as much. Looking at ways to put old clothing together in different ways and adding accessories can also be helpful.
That being said, thank you Kristen for the $40 gift card that was burning a hole in my wallet that provided me with a new pair of shoes and a purse:


I am wearing the shoes right now and using the purse.

And although I missed all the great after Christmas deals, I did manage to buy a pair of distressed rust colored suede boots from Steve Madden for 70% off, so i saved 150 bucks! It gave me a serious shoppingasm:

You know I love my boots and my Bannana boots that are a somewhat similar color that I bought 4 years ago are starting to show a little wear so I jumped at the deal. I love that this is a neutral color but isnt a boring black or brown. I can picture myself wearing these with skinny jeans and a stripped shirt.

I am not going to lie, shopping makes me happy:)

I have been noticing the days are starting to get longer and I that makes me very happy. I almost got to see the sun rise this morning driving to work and it stays lighter later in the day too. Daylight savings is coming up soon, March 8th, so only one more month of winter!
This means I wont have to walk home in the dark from the gym anymore, waking up in the morning will be a hell of a lot easier when it is light outside and soon I will be able to wear tank tops, dresses and skirts again without tights or jackets with them. Those little things just make me happy. I am a summer girl and I am looking forward to putting winter behind me.

Sometimes Word Verifications are funny:

I'm A Survivor

There was a guy on NPR this morning who talked about people's survior types, basically how you deal with adversity. He talked about a quiz that determined survivor types and I love to waste time by taking quizzes so I decided to take it.

It looks like I am a fighter, which says I "attack adversity with determination and grit. Tough, resilient, and never a quitter, you keep going when others give up". Well I would like to think that is true, but they way they assess this is by asking you how you would deal with crisis scenarios but if you have never been in a plane crash, how do you really know how you would react? Then again I almost slid off a cliff once and have been in a few car accidents and I seem to remain incredibly calm in those situations. I have always let the little things bother me more than the big things. So if you sit next to me on an airplane and we crash, I would calmly ask the you if you were ok. If you sit next to me on a plane and invade my personal space though, you are going to wish that we would crash.

Anyway, give it a shot it you wish.

Good Weekend

My weekend didnt have the best ending, but overall it was one of the better weekends I have had in awhile. My sister was in town so I got to see her which was short but sweet. It is always nice to have her here because she really is a good friend and not just a sister to me. When she does come to town I always have to share her with everyone though so I look forward to going to visit her in April and getting her all to myself.
On Saturday I went to get my ipod to walk to the gym and tragically it would not work. The screen wouldnt come up at all and when I connected it to my computer it told me my ipod may be corrupted and to restore it. So I tried several times and it would freeze in the middle of restoring and not work. So I bitterly went to the gym without it and pouted. However a miracle took place on Sunday and when I went to try it one more time before going out and buying a new one it was working, hallelujah! Honestly I would rather go without my cell phone than without my ipod, it is my baby and I use it everyday so I was super excited it started working again and I didnt have to shell out 150 bucks.

It was also a big weekend in sports. UFC on Saturday and Super Bowl on Sunday were both entertaining and exciting. I think my personality must have a little testesterone in it because I love to watch fighting and sports where players hit and taking one another out. It actually makes me a little sad that I cant really participate in that kind of thing. And before you say there are women leagues for that type of thing, I am probably a little too small and would get creamed and besides womens sports just do not have the same clout as mens sports. In any case I enjoy watching, even though I think Bobby's is where my neck started to bother me from straining to see through the 3 rows of people socializing at the bar.

Which leads me to the unhappy ending. I woke up yesterday with a very slightly stiff neck that exploded in pain when I went to the gym and started my incline chest presses. For a couple of reps I thought my arm might just go numb on me but I kept going because I had just gotten there and I needed to get this workout in and I am also ridiculously stubborn. I got through the workout with a limited range of motion and when I finally sat down for the Super Bowl, it really started giving me trouble. Sleeping was the most problematic, I just couldnt get comfortable until I remembered that I had one of those memory foam pillows and that really helped. What did not help were the(3)separate screaming matches taking place outside my apartment at 1, 3 & 4am. Ahh, there is nothing like getting woken up by the sweet sounds of "fuck you bitch!" and screeching tires.

My neck and shoulder still hurt a lot this morning but I swiped a Tiger Balm patch from my dad and took (4) ibupropen so it seems to be loosing up a little. By tomorrow I should be fine.