Alright, Lets Just Get This Over With

So I approached this Valentines Day as I do all Valentines Days, basically as a non event. My approach evolved from a long time loathing of the holiday I developed by being perpetually single but over the years I eased up on the loathing and embraced indifference. Good for everyone else to have someone to spend time with and love, everyone should have that. Yes it can be a bit of rub in the face when everyone around you is getting flowers or is talking about their plans for the evening but I hate to think that someone elses happiness is contributing to my unhappiness, so I just smile and try to avoid the question of whether or not I have any plans so as to not have to see the look of pity when I say I have none (you all know the look I am talking about).

I am ok with not having plans but the more people keep bringing it up and the more I see reminders of the holiday everywhere I go, the more I realize it is unavoidable to not think about your love life on February 14th. I might as well just get it over with. So here it goes:

I am single for numerous reasons. Some reasons have to do with the difficulty in meeting (quality) people, some reasons have to do with my own behavior and the tough exterior I put on to protect myself from being vulnerable, some have to do with finding someone I have a connection with and most importantly I can trust, and some have to do with being selective of who I do go out with, etc etc. Whatever the reasons, love has been elusive to me.

So what is a girl to do? Sit around and bitch about it to anyone who will listen? No, no, no, I definitely do not want to be the bitter/angry girl, thats pathetic. Besides I have always perferred a more proactive approach but since there is definitely an element of luck involved with meeting people, I feel there is only so much I can do. But I can keep my chin up, my eyes open and enjoy the time I do have being single. Lets be honest, there is a lot of wonderful freedom that comes with being single and as great as relationships can be, they all have problems. Just today a co-worker was complaining to me about his wife and the problems they are having. I think thats the most important thing I have learned over the years, that naive belief that love is a fairy tale, has been replaced with the knowledge that relationships can be incredibly rewarding but not always incredibly easy.

I keep a lot inside so it can feel good to get some of it off my chest. I am mostly happy but I get sad sometimes and thats ok. Kahil Gibran once said "The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain." When I am feeling down, that quote makes me feel better. Right now I am doing just fine though:) When you have a sister and a mom who remind you that you are in fact loved and appreciated, it is hard to feel sorry for yourself for long!

So to everyone out there who has someone to spend time with today, enjoy it and love and appreciate that person in your life. And if you are single enjoy your freedom and don't worry too much about the future. Your future wife/husband is out there somewhere probably wondering where you are too.