Long Post Adressing My "Obsession" with Working Out

*Note: This post was spurred by a conversation I had with someone yesterday, but I have had to address this at other times with other people as well so I am setting the record straight

I have been accused more than once about being obsessed with working out. I am not going to argue with that assessment as I understand why people would think that since I do go to the gym 6 days a week and the only reason I don't do 7 days is because it isn't good for your body (otherwise I would because I literally have to force myself to take that day off). The misconception that I want to address however are the reasons that I exercise.

Obviously one of the reasons that I exercise is vanity. Yes, I want to look good and feel good about how I look and I want my clothes to fit well. Shopping is a whole hell of a lot easier when you are in good shape and we all know I love to shop. The catalyst for me working out a long time ago was definitely vanity. I wanted to look good. Since then however, I have developed many other reasons for working out that have become just as motivating for me as wanting to look good.

First, exercise for me is the best anti-depressant there is. When I was living in Austin I went through a period of time where I felt very depressed to the point where I realized I had to do something about it because I was miserable. I considered going on an anti depressant drug but after looking into that I didn't want the side effects that come with using anti depressants and I really didn't want to be medicated. So instead I decided I would train for a marathon. I thought having a goal like that to accomplish would keep me focused and the exercise endorphins themselves would also help. I started running before and after work and for 3 months was a running machine. When I finally ran it and finished, it was one of the happiest moments of my life. Anytime I feel depressed or antsy or stressed out, exercising helps alleviate those negative emotions for me 100% of the time. They don't go away completely but they somehow seem more managageable and I always feel better after a workout.

Second, exercise is a passion for me. Much like people paint or get involved in politics or hell even civil war reanactments, I love to exercise. For a lot of people exercise feels like a punishment that they have to force themselves to do because of health reasons or because they don't want to get fat. They find the act of exercise uncomfortbale and exhausting and just hate to do it. Because of that mindset they sometimes assume that I am also forcing myself because exercise could not possibly be enjoyable and thus I am obsessed with not getting fat. That is incredibly inaccurate.

I find the science and biology behind exercise absolutely fascinating. It is amazing to me that you can change and shape your body in any number of ways and how particular movements and amount of weights can achieve this. There are so many ways to exercise and numerous debates over things like bench presses versus dumbbell presses, the amount of reps you should do, what parts of the body should be worked and how often, the amount of weight you should use to get the best results, how frequently you should change your workout, cardio versus weight training versus yoga or pilates, etc. etc. Exercise is one of those things that you can read about and study and then you can physically see the results of all of these ideas and philosohpies on your own body. I am my own science experiment.

Additionally, exercise not only trains your body but it also trains your mind. When people are new to exercise they often have trouble telling the difference between good pain and injury pain. When their muscles start to burn their brains think there is something wrong and tell their body to stop. It is difficult for them to push through that pain at first because they are not accustomed to feeling it. Once your brain starts telling the difference between good pain and bad pain though it allows the body to push further and make gains. It absolutely burns and is "painful" when I lift, but my brain knows that that pain means I am making strength gains so it helps me to push through it. If my quads don't burn when I am doing leg extensions then I do not have enough weight on the machine. Your brain is trained at the same time your body is trained and I like to think that that also helps away from the gym and teaches me discipline in other parts of my life.

Finally, I love a challenge. I love working hard and seeing the results of that work. I have always been a very physical person and like to do things that require me to use my body as opposed to using just my mind. I love pushing myself to see if I can do just 1 more rep or if I can go up 5 pounds on a particular lift. It is incredibly satisfying to see muscle growth and to know that my hard work caused that to happen. Overtime, you start to push yourself in ways that you never expected to and you are able to do things you never knew if you could do.

Because of genetics and my body type, my upper body has always been considerably weaker than my lower body. I always felt disporportiante and when I looked in the mirror and I used to think that was just how I was and there was really nothing I can do about it. I didn't neglect that area however, I basically just didn't have high hopes of achieving much success. Overtime though I began to notice a little more definition and then I noticed a little more bulk and even though I still want to improve that area, I have acheieved strength gains there I didnt expect and feel a lot more porportinate now. I am not bringing this up to brag, just to point out that the act of challenging yourself in any area of life, can help you acheive things you didn't really think were possible and opens your eyes to possibilities you may not have seen before.

For all of those reasons, I am "obsessed" with working out. Sometimes I feel it is a no win situation for me. A few years ago when I was running a lot and not weight training as much everyone thought I was too skinny and looked unhealthy. I do the work to gain muscle and look and be more healthy and now I am obsessed. I know that my eating and exercise habits although more extreme than most but they are healthy and I feel good about how I look. If you still want to label me as a nut job then ok, thats fine. I just don't want the incorrect assumption that I am torturing myself just so I can fit into a size 2 to go unaddressed. The person I had that conversation with that caused me to write this doesn't read my blog but I feel a lot better just getting it off my chest.