What Hallmark Wishes They Had Come Up With

I found an old binder yesterday from when I was at Ball State and it had my list of greeting cards that Hallmark should make for those situations in life that come up that you just can't find a card for. The list is as follows:

- Front: Congratulations... Inside: You got Your Period So You Aren't Knocked Up After All!Phew. Next Time Wear A Condom.

- Front: I Really Like You... Inside: But I Am Just Not Attracted To You, Sorry!

-Front: Time To Celebrate! Inside: I Never Liked That Fucker And I Am Glad You Finally Broke Up.

-Front: Oops Inside: You Might Want To Get Tested. Sorry About That. I Didn't Know.

-Front: Congratulations!Inside: You Are An Asshole.

-Front: Thank You! Inside: He Is Your Problem Now, Not Mine Muhahaha!

Front: Happy Birthday! Inside: I Hope You Get An STD.

Front: Sorry I Hit Your Car Inside: I Am Not Insured And I Cant Afford To Fix It But I feel REALLY Bad.

Front: The Sex Was Awesome! Inside:But I Am Not Ready For A Relationship

Front: Good Luck! Inside: Over Half Of All Marriages Fail But I am Sure You Will Be Just Fine.



Let it be known that I came up with these after a friend got out of a bad relationship so they sound sorta bitter but it made her laugh so thats what matters. I still find them funny though:)