Today I went in and there were only two of the usual cast of characters and I said hello and got my coffee and as I was walking out I see one of the men at his car getting flowers out of his trunk and I dont think much of it but he walks over to me and says "Here these are for you". I was taken aback but he went on to say that he wasnt a stalker or anything but he seems me all the time and he thinks I am very beautiful and that I brighten his day so he wanted to brighten mine. Swoon! Ok so he may look like an old craggly sea captain with a huge grey beard but he completely made my day. What a sweet thing to do for someone you dont even really know. And it wasnt creepy at all, he was just sweet and thoughtful. I wish guys my age would think of doing nice things like this but guys my age just dont seem to get that thoughtful gentlemen thing it seems.
Now I have beautiful flowers to look at all day and since I am beyond slammed at work, it put a smile on my face.
That is very sweet.
ReplyDeleteyes, all of us 'young' guys still have a lot to learn. that was very nice of them, and i'm glad they were well received.
ReplyDeletei'm not a flower guy, and really this question isn't as much for me. but, how would you feel about flowers from friends?
ReplyDeletei'm thinking it's a very nice gesture, but i also wonder if it might be strange/awkward from a single male friend.
The only reason I don't give you flowers is because Mellow speculates on our supposed sex life enough as it is.
ReplyDeleteI hear what you are saying, if you do give flowers I think you just need to be clear that it is just a friendly gesture. I can see why as a guy you may be reluctant to give flowers to a girl because of how it might be interpreted but it is all about what you say when you give them. If you were nervous and stammering or aww shucks about it, it may not come off right. But if you are confident and state your purpose, then regardless of your intent it is just nice.
ReplyDeleteBut I dont ever expect to get flowers, I am just saying that guys take note, a simple nice thoughtful gesture like that makes a girl happy. Pulling out a chair for a girl or bringing her a chair when there is no where to sit or opening a door for a girl, saying she looks nice- things like that seem to be fading with each generation. I like being treated like a lady and most girls do too. I dont think you guys in particular are bad about stuff like that, in fact compared to most guys you do pretty well but just know that we really do appreciate it.
And Adam I think you are right, it would just give Mellow more ammunition.
It's complicated by the fact that different people enjoy different gestures. I've dated women who loathed cut flowers. It's one of those things where I prefer to know the person well enough to be able to make the right gesture without offending.
ReplyDeleteI don't want to bring over a home-cooked meal to a friend and then find out that they're a vegetarian or get someone a chair only to find out that they're highly offended that I assumed they didn't want to or couldn't get it on their own.
But yeah, for strangers, I'll generally hold a door or whatever. It's when you get closer to someone that you have to be much more thoughtful and deliberate about your actions based on the person you're interacting with.
What a wonderful old sailor to give you some flowers! You're right, girls appreciate simple gestures like this. I don't know a single girl who wouldn't love getting a sweet card, pretty flower or something like that. Enjoy your pretty flowers!
ReplyDeleteI think anyone that is offended over a well meaning gesture of thoughtfullness is a little uptight personally. I agree that there are woman out there like that though that make it hard for a guy to know what to do and ruins it for the rest of us girls who actual appreciate that kind of thing.
ReplyDeleteI think the vast majority of women arent going to get upset over something like that and if they are then I think they look like the jerks. How dare he offer to get me a chair, what an ass! See that just doesnt compute with me. If someone does something nice then you say thank you but then again I am not the type of girl who feels it is neccesary to read into everything as having sexist overtones. I like being a woman and I like the benefits that go with it like getting pretty things and I recognize not everyone feels like that. Too bad for them!;)
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ReplyDeleteI'm not trying to say that. I'm just saying that, too easily we generalize everything. Not everyone is flattered by the same things. I don't think they're ruining it. I just think they're who they are and we have to learn what makes the people we interact with tick.
ReplyDeleteWhat's the difference between me getting you a chair if you didn't want one and me offering you a solution to a problem that you only wanted me to listen to and let you vent? Nothing. I had good intentions in both cases but I was offering something you didn't want. I don't think it makes you a jerk or even an ingrate if you turn down my getting a chair.
Your concept of being treated like a lady might be different than another woman's concept of being treated like a lady.
I think you are a jerk if you are offended because someone got you a chair, not that you refused it. You can be polite about such things and still appreciate the gesture and not use the chair.
ReplyDeleteIf a guy is going to sit there while a lady stands without a place to sit because he isnt sure he is going to offend her by getting one and wants to wait to get to know her better first then by all means sit and do nothing. Myself and probably most women - not ALL women - are going to appreciate the guy next to him who actually does offer her a chair a whole lot more.
Hehehe, I'm really not trying to be a jerk here. I've been involved in a heavy argument elsewhere on the clickyweb and I think the attitude is carrying over.
ReplyDeleteI really do think we're close on this issue but I'm not communicating it very well and I apologize for that.
I love it. How cool that you spend time talking to these guys. It gives me a warm feeling in my heart. I always look at older people and think no one cares for them or treats them like a person, but Kasey does!
ReplyDeleteWe are cool Adam, as always we may get into spirited discussions but neither of us take it personally. I do hear what you are saying though, but it would be an easier conversation in person.
ReplyDeleteThanks Monti, the old folks do seem to like me for some reason. We should go out on a cheer old folks up day and spread the joy;)