Let me just start at by saying I really dislike bachelorette parties, at least the typical bachelorette party. I just dont get it. For some reason it revolves around the penis, which is weird to me because it is supposed to be about women coming together to celebrate their friends upcoming nuptials so why is the penis the center of attention? There are penis straws, penis wind up toys, penis waterguns (I won one of these), penis lipstick (I also won this), penis necklaces, penis drinking cups, penis cakes, pin the penis on the guy, make a penis out of chewing gum, penis water bottles,penis balloons, penis ring toss...penis, penis penis.
Then there are the games. The ones we played this weekend were who could peel a banana and put a condom on it the fastest. This is the game that I won, my parents would be proud. Then we had to write down or most naughty sexual experience and our most embarassing sexual experience and then someone read them aloud and we had to guess whose they were. It was lame and I felt like I was in high scool (except in high school I wouldnt have anything to write down really). Then we played a sexual word scramble that I won and we had to think of something sexual for every letter of the alphabet. Apparantly everything has to be associated with sex and the peni which is funny because lets be honest you are getting married and the sex is going to decline. They should have parties like this when someone loses their virginity so the girl can learn a few things plus you would be younger and the maturity level of the party would be more appropriate.
We didnt go out while we were up there, but the going out bar hopping parties can be just as annoying. You can see them coming a mile away, a group of drunk and loud girls, one of which is wearing a veil (most likely with a penis or 2 or 16 hanging from it). Her herem of girls will tell everyone that they see that their friend is getting married and try to get drinks and shots paid for them all night. Then there are the checklists that say you have to find a guy to do this and that and get them all checked off by the end of the night. I went the one where she had to get a pair of guys underwear, and she did.
I am not a big going out girl in the first place nor am I much of a girly girl, both of which seems to be what bachelorette parties are all about. This is why I love Landmark so much. I much prefer just sitting and hanging out having a drink with friends (dice playing always a bonus) as opposed to going out to some packed club where talking isnt even an option and everyone is just looking to hook up anyway. This however wasn't a problem with the party this weekend. All the girls but 3 were asleep by 10 (10!!!) and the girl I drove up with got sick so I had to convince her for 2 hours to just let me take her home so she can sleep in her own bed since we were leaving first thing in the morning anyway. My efforts did get me home in time to join Ed, Brian and Abigail at Million Elephant for last call and a much needed drink.
Lucky for me, I get to host a bachelorette party for Melissa in two weeks so I get to do all of this all over again. All penises(peni?) will be outlawed should I get married and have a bachelorette party and we will do somethin fun like go white water rafting or rock climbing or sky diving or something thats actually fun!
Anyway, anyone want a penis water gun?
My guess as to why they so often revolve around genitals is probably the tradition of being a virgin when getting married. Sort of a racy joke about inexperience and you're totally gonna see a real penis.
ReplyDeleteOutdated and as you point out, annoying. Especially considering the traditional bachelor party revolves around the idea of getting that last lap dance or face burried in a bosom. Kind of an imbalanced rip off if you ask me.
That makes sense, the virgin thing. I think thats what bothers me is that it is like you say so outdated and it seems really immature, especially as you get older. Yet people still do this without really thinking about it. Thats what is supposed to happen at bachelor or bachelorette parties so thats what we will do too.
ReplyDeleteOh tradition, isnt it wonderful to do things because thats the way it has been done in the past.
yeah, send the watergun my way. i had one that i thought i should get rid of when g was born, and boy do i miss it...
ReplyDeleteIts all yours, it doesnt squirt very well though but I am sure you can work your magic;)
ReplyDeletesee, i wonder though, do the virginal types have penis themed parties? because, it seems to me the bachelorette parties i see out on the town w/dangly penis on veil don't have the look of virgin.
ReplyDeletebut maybe i'm stereotyping.
Maybe they dont but there are so few "virginal types" getting married these days its hard to say. And by the way, what does a virgin look like?
ReplyDelete